Starry Saltwater

The Move is Now Permanent

2008-08-25T09:00:00.002-04:00

Yup.

It is time.

Please direct your attention from now on to Sitara Online, the my new multifaceted one site on the web! It has everything that my current collection of blogs has, as well as adding in the zine aspect I've been trying to incorporate.

This site won't go down, but updates will no longer be happening.

Farewell! And hello!

Nothing Really New--So That Means Changes

2008-07-13T13:09:00.002-04:00

I have "The only comfort is the moving of the river," a Sarah MacLachlan lyric, tattooed on my right wrist. It's supposed to make me embrace change and stop being that fish trying to run upstream. Life has given me plenty of change to practice with lately, but I haven't gotten much better, but I think I'm improving some. I'm such a Taurus...

My dad came to visit, which was wicked cool. He came to help my sister move stuff from Buffalo, but we got in a trip to the farmer's market, dinner to Mezcal (he loved it), breakfast at Patricia's with Leo Sunday morning and corned beef sandwiches on homemade rye, french onion soup and green salad on Sunday evening with the complex crowd. We had a really great time and I'm so glad he came to visit.

It was a visit that's come after a pretty crazy time around here. After baby Jake came early, he's been fussy and landed in the hospital for a week with severe acid reflux. He worried everyone, because he wasn't getting enough food in him. He's doing better now, thankfully and out of the hospital. But now the P Family has moved out of the complex (so Sunday dinner doubled as a good-bye meal) and that's gonna be weird for us. We're so used to having those kids around...

My grandmother had another stroke and was in ICU in PR. I think she's doing better, but better is a relative term when dementia is in the mix...

A good friend of mine lost a baby and was in the hospital for a few days. The sadness of that is indescribable...

My sister is moving back to Buffalo for a year soon, like this weekend soon, just after I got used to having her around...

Vacation was good, but seems like a distant memory...

I have a full weekend coming up playing a softball tournament...

Camp is going surprisingly well, but I don't trust it...

Projects are backed up, but I'm giving in and getting a new computer. I hate spending money...

I'm both excited and nervous about switching over to Sitara Online. It'll happen, I guess...

Short Rocket Bursts

2008-07-03T07:08:00.002-04:00

I'm behind on telling you all sorts of things, so here's a quick rundown of what's been going on around here lately...

Just came back from Maine for a wedding. Lenny's niece Franny got married and I did the photography. I'm really pleased with some of the photos and so was the family and couple, so I think I pulled it off! The vacation was nice and needed. I remember drinking a lot of beer... I have more to share about all that, but that's another post.

Sitara Online is no longer a dream in the sky, but is coming together. I imagine I could get it up and running by the end of this holiday weekend, which means this here blog will be--not shut down, because there's too many posts to just shut it down, but it will, eventually become inactive. Don't change your bookmarks, yet! I still have some chit chatting to do. Sitara Online won't really be a cutback, it's more a joining of all my blogs into one yummy sandwich. I think it will make my life easier, once I figure it out.

Photos, photos, photos everywhere! I burned close to 30 CD's of photos to clear up my computer and now I really want prints!

Summer camp starts on Monday and either it'll be great or it'll be crazy, but I'm determined not to be stressed. We'll see how it all goes.

Working out is not working out--I need to get on my board and my bike this weekend, come hook or crook!

My sister Lene is living with me currently. It's pretty nice having a sibling around. I haven't been as around as I would like to be, but hopefully that will change and we can do some more hanging out. I believe my dad is coming to visit, too!

I'm behind, I know, but at least you have a little idea of what's going on...

Sustainability

2008-06-12T22:07:00.002-04:00

Sustainability is sometimes a very mature way of saying lazy, like when I don't do my laundry for weeks (sniff the pants, they smell clean, put them on) or don't shower all weekend (sniff the pits, they smell all right, keep on going).

Sustainability is sometimes a good excuse to sit in the dark or stay at home. Yuck, gas prices. Sustainability is sometimes fantastic food that tastes better than you ever remember it tasting--like the strawberries from Hamden sitting in the fridge or the Pleasant Cow cheese I rave about, made so much more special because only one farm makes it.

Sustainability is sometimes muddled and murky. Sustainability is sometimes about hard choices--I like certain disposable things, but I'm willing to pay more for food, so how dedicated am I?

Sometimes sustainability is spiritual--how can I sustain myself? What environmental changes will make my life easier--not faster, not more convenient, but easier in that I my conscience, my soul, my desire, my anxieties rest easy.

Just thinking how it all interconnects--especially when you're pagan and in tune with the earth. Sometimes her melancholy is contagious.

Nutty Little Idea

2008-06-03T08:29:00.002-04:00

Ah, so I'm now officially sick of how many blogs I have. I want to keep up with all of them, but buzzing around and updating them all is a little crazy. So the nutty idea? Bring them all together.

Migrating this particular blog will be a pill to do manually, so don't be surprised if in the next month or so I post that this URL will change. I will have to do a lot of the coding offline, to keep everyone from getting confused. Yes, everyone. Who are you guys, anyway? Leave comments, because I have no idea who reads this stuff.

Now, migrating everything else manually sounds like total hell, also. So I'm off to message boards and how-to sites to see if anyone else has managed this gargantuan task and written a program to do it.

Please, please, let someone know what they're doing. Because manually moving 200 posts sounds like being a machine. So a machine should be able to do it, right?

Cross your fingers and I'll keep you posted.

Trio of Days

2008-05-27T08:15:00.002-04:00

A three day weekend, when done well, sometimes ends up feeling like five days.

Friday night was complete relaxation, since softball was canceled. I haven't played a game yet.

Saturday morning market routine is back online. Yay! I like going to the market, especially when Lenny comes with me. We got milk, cheese, rhubarb, daikon radishes, greens, bread, eggs--just happy people, us. I have vague ideas for stir fry, stuffing and quiche. Oh, and a strawberry rhubarb pie is already setting up in the fridge.

Saturday also had an afternoon photo shoot (which produced the picture to the right) with Ra. We shot his shirts and hoodie in Edgewood Park (outdoor light makes life so much easier). Then we went to the Water Street graffitti spot and goofed off. Turns out that I might actually let him take photos of me. Ha, funny that. We have Photoshop dreams in our heads, at the moment. Here's the whole set.

After the photo shoot I took off for Ikea to get some storage things. It's so easy to spend too much money there.

Sunday morning was a cleaning/organizing blitz, before we went to Shelton for Becky's birthday. Lenny's clothes are organized and no longer taking over the bedroom! My makeup is all in one place! Hair products have been organized! My projects are neatly stored in a corner of the office! A new end table and coffee table are in the living room! Wowee! I'm happy for this, since our house is out of control and I think we're sticking around here for awhile. ;-)

Becky's house is always a great time. We love her parents and there's always good food. I may have over-indulged though, because yesterday my tummy hurt. I still don't have a present for her, but I'm working on something. An evening in Shelton was the perfect relaxing end to a busy day.

Monday was both lazy and busy. Morning time took me to Walmart to pick up some things we need (the cat needs food, clothes need laundry soap, that sort of boring errand stuff). Lenny went golfing and I'm so glad he did. He's earned it a thousand times over with the number of hours he's worked. He went with Matt and they were gone almost four hours, which was fine with me. I swept and mopped and cleaned my disgusting bathroom. And put away laundry that has been hanging out for three weeks.

Once they got home I went for a bike ride that was great. I found all sorts of empty roads around here.

Last night the grill got fired up with pork and it was yummy. Lenny's getting good and producing juicy meats on the grill. I love having him in the kitchen. We had a bit of a blow out Thursday night, but we're back to sharing and talking, which is what we really wanted anyway. Silly us.

To a good week.

Head Down

2008-05-22T06:50:00.003-04:00

I drag my feet and keep my head down,
Can't remember why I love this town
The despair rises; am I gonna drown?

Forget to count my blessings or smell roses,
My vision is blurred and I can't find focus
There's a rip in my heart; how do you sew this?

My soul is split between home and dreams,
I thread the needle and try to the stitch the seams
This lament is so long I'd need at least two reams.

They want me to bounce, they want bubble
But all I see brewing is toil and trouble
I suppose the worry just makes it double.

The summer is near, the warmth near to touch
It's a time for hopscotch, baseball and double-dutch
But my anger and sadness are a one-two punch.

Maybe it will lift away, but I still have memories
Of my explosions fueled wickedly with unease.
If only life was as simple as the birds and the bees.

Wear and Tear

2008-05-21T07:49:00.002-04:00

Blood
Part 2 of Reflections on my May 2008 trip to Puerto Rico

I didn't want to go and then I didn't want to leave.

Blood is thicker than water, my father says. It's harder than water to swim in, too. But if you don't give it oxygen, it turns blue and the body dies. The ocean is blue, but you can't drink saltwater.

Don't burn your bridges, child.

My father always says he's too busy with work. It's an avoidant behavior that I recognize in myself, my father the future figure I can become--a desperate fear that swallows me. My father has so much love to give--as do I--but are we giving it in the wrong ways?

There are no insults or judgments here--only observation in relation to my existence. If I judge others to be of poor character it is only because I make that same judgment of myself. If I judge others to be of good character it is only because I see in them what I wish to be.

Almost two years since I had set foot on the motherland--I unclenched muscles I never knew were tensed when I stepped off the plane; no, before that, when those black rubber jet tires hit the runway and I could feel her through the metal, the wheels, the concrete and tar--a green beating heart that refuses to stop loving me, because she has a faith in me I lost somewhere between my previous life and this one.

Unfailing love, my two mothers have for me. My biological mother struggles, but only out of love. I learned from her the lesson that we are always learning lessons and can only do our best. I wish she wouldn't berate herself--we're growing up and we understand. My spiritual mother, the island, she is my first Earth-mother. Paganism is about place and my connection is so much stronger to my motherland than here, this cold, this land Demeter forsook in grief.

I'm #2 in the long line of six--meaning I have five friends for life. Why do I forget that sometimes? The remembering is painful, like the murmurings of a heart attack, an unlocalized pain, the awakening of nerves after a long period of Novacaine, a sobering up after a long night of partying, the shitty feeling that was always there coming alive. Why do I forget.

I thank my grandfather for these hurtful realizations--a life without pain is a lonely life. "A man who fears nothing loves nothing" (or something like that); a corollary: a woman who forgets her blood forgets herself and lives life half-empty, constantly filling a pool that drains almost as fast, but not fast enough for her quite to notice it, a female Sisyphus doomed to roll the rock up the hill. I refuse to allow his death and all that came from it to be in vain. I carry shame, but it is a much lighter load to bear, when I can say that I am trying, instead of avoiding.

When the wheels left the runway Monday night, the familiar falling-of-the-stomach sensation was both physical and spiritual--I felt like my world was falling into the emptiness, that I always leave something behind when I leave. The gnaw of the hole begins--a symbiotic worm of compromise.

I go back to the life I have built--it has meaning and love, connections and community, a moral compass, not an empty or meaningless life at all--but it's still there, the price I pay, the island girl huddled against the crisp New England wind.

I could do better to keep her warm.

Memory Dive

2008-05-20T11:44:00.006-04:00

Swimming the Caribbean
Part 1 of Reflections of the May 2008 Puerto Rico Trip

It was my last day in Puerto Rico and I wanted to swim in the ocean. It had been almost three and a half years since I had swam in my mother-waters, my birthing-sea. I could have made the day a bit easier by doing it in Miramar or someplace in San Juan, but what I wanted was to return to the place my family always went, the calm bit of Playa Azul in Luquillo.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, we left the house really late, but we decided to try it anyway and managed to have time. My mom and sister Lene were with me. The drive was the same one as always, past the old Navy base I went to school on, through Fajardo and into Luquillo. My mom pulled up to the sidewalk and said that she and my sister would go get something to eat while I went for my swim. It was something only I had to do, so doing it alone was okay.

They pulled away and I left my towel and clothes in a little pile on the beach where I could keep an eye on it. I eased into the green-blue water, finding a spot free of seaweed-covered bottom. Although it was a Monday afternoon, there were still people there, kids running around, teenagers in the water together (I giggled as I remembered being there with my boyfriend and the clandestine touches underwater that seem so chaste now), a woman rocking in a hammock strung between two palms.

I didn't dunk immediately. I savored the relief that this wasn't the Long Island Sound, the brown polluted ocean I have to make do with in Connecticut because at least it's ocean and the idea of living far from one is unbearable. I never swim in the Sound, mostly because I find it cold, even in the sweltering humid days of August, and crowded, as New Englanders squeeze every last drop out of the warm months before winter sets in and we have to swallow our skins in coats, hats, gloves, scarves, long-johns and sweaters.

I absorbed every moment before the submersion--when you're convinced that it's going to be colder than it actually is, when I taste the saltwater just to remember that thirst, both for a drink of freshwater and a complete dunk, when you wonder if you really want the frizzy hair and red-rimmed eyes, when I think, "Maybe I'm too old for this." Then I just did it, dropping my whole body, head to toe, into the saltwater. In those moments underwater, it felt like 20 years had never passed--that when I bobbed up I would be half my size, in a floral print one-piece, my childish belly still sticking out, my baby fat making me chunky. Underwater, I felt that I would pop up and look to the shore and see the half-dome tent my father always insisted on setting up for the shade, my mother sitting in it spreading mayonnaise on pan de agua and layering ham and swiss cheese for my dad's sandwich. My sister Ile and brother Tito would be digging in the sand, to build a castle that wouldn't last the day. My father would be standing in the water keeping an eye on me and my sister Lene. Lene would be right next to me, because we're surging out of the water pretending to be mermaids flying out of the ocean with a giant push from our beautiful, sparkly tails.

But when I came up it was just me. And those twenty years had passed. And I was getting on a plane in less than four hours.

But that was not right that second.

I swam and dived underwater, daydreaming that this was my life--I had just come home from work and thrown on my swimsuit for a dip before dinner, brown and lithe from doing this every single day. My house was just down the street and Lenny was sitting on the rocks drinking a Negra Modelo.

I let the ocean enter my pores, the memories flooding in, the spirit of this island soaking into me, so that when I was back in Connecticut it would somehow still be with me, in my skin, in my blood, in my heart and soul. I whispered my hopes and troubles to her and she cradled me in her womb, seeping comfort into my bones, the soft sounds of the rise and fall of the sea like a lullabye. I let the power of my motherland into me, recharging my dead battery of psychic strength and skill, in hopes that I could stay connected to myself and where I came from, and all that it has made me.

In PR

2008-05-18T23:27:00.002-04:00

Well, I'm in Puerto Rico, but I'm leaving tomorrow. I promise to really explain the reason I'm here, but I don't necessarily want to talk about it at the moment.

So I'll focus on today's marathon of baking, which is only ending now. The last batch of cookies is in the oven. I managed to bake, ahem, ahem:

Close to 60 Whopper cookies (ah, Dorie Greenspan, I love you and this recipe--can I marry a cookie?)
About 4 dozen chocolate chip cookies (classic Tollhouse recipe, because it's still the best around--although humidity was against me and I ended up with chocolate chip crackers--but there are actually very few complaints)
14 oatmeal-cranberry cookie sandwiches (think gourmet oatmeal cream pies--Little Debbie has nothing on this miniature cook!)
About 4 dozen molasses spice cookies (despite the seven Wal-Mart employees I stumped when asking for molasses--a 1/4 cup of molasses hidden in the back of the pantry goes a long way!)
And, while not baked, per se, I made a killer corned beef for dinner, too!

Yes, I'm tired, but I was determined to leave some Rosie-love behind, in the form of things good for tummies! I mean, in a week it'll feel like a dream, like I was never here, both to me and my family, but if there's cookies hiding out in the back of the fridge, maybe it'll still seem a little real.

And somehow I managed to squeeze in a game of Scrabble, a quick visit to my grandparents next door (that involves another post, too--I'm avoiding heavy stuff tonight, because I'll have plenty of time to worry when I'm home) and a VERY clumsy attempt at Dance Dance Revolution, Mario-style.

Oh, yesterday! Yesterday was completely lazy. Except for the evening adventure to Wal-Mart. I slept a lot, for some reason, and I still think I'm behind on sleep at the moment, but when I woke up around 5pm (okay, I started my nap at 1:30pm, so it's not like I was lying in bed eating bon-bons all day), I realized that if I was going to bake, I should do a grocery store run. I was skeptical about my local grocery store, so I decided it had to be a Wal-Mart Supercenter. Now, Mapquest doesn't really work around here, so my dad and sister came up with a map. We'd done the drive as passengers before, but Lene (my sister) and I were going out alone. Yes, two girls, my dad's HHR and the mean streets of Puerto Rico.

We managed to get to there, all right, and I was presented with the funniest sight of the evening--a traffic jam to get into...(oh, I'm so going to make you wait for it--because it has to be something amazing, right? I mean, of course it has to be, why else would people sit in TRAFFIC?)...okay, I'll tell you: KRISPY KREME! Seriously, the line was out of the door, the traffic was backed up all the way into the main road, because apparently this is the new big thing at Plaza Centro. I nearly died. I swear, it was the funniest thing ever. Don't get me wrong, I love me a Krispy Kreme donut (I mean, the crueller is fantastic, especially hot from the fryer), but really, I wouldn't wait in the kind of traffic, or in a line of 100+ people, for a donut.

Wal-Mart was Wal-Mart, as it tends to be. I decided that I was going to drive home, because my sister seemed tired. Oh, boy. That's when things got a little nutty. We made it to the right exit okay, but took a wrong turn and got lost. So we call home and figure it out, but on the way back to the correct road, there was a bunch of police cars. Oh, right, there was a downed powerline and, cool, the fuzz was actually doing something about it. So the police-dude had a little bitty mag-lite and was waving it--it was dark and it seemed to me that he was saying to go ahead and go. I mean, if you wanted me to stop, why are you waving me on?

Um, he wanted me to stop. And then I did, realizing that traffic was coming and that he was a pissed PR cop. And I was not wearing make-up or a low-cut shirt, so how was I going to get out of this one? After struggling to bring the window down, I talked charmingly to the cop and he let us pass--I think he assumed I was just a stupid gringa. Oh, well, I suppose the light skin helps sometimes!

We made it back home with little incident (I was NOT going to run us off the road, despite my sister's argument to the contrary), but I was surprised today when my dad said I could take the car to re-up my cigarette supply. Oh, cool. Heehee--I think I'm finally an adult!

Tomorrow's plan? Okay, sounds nutty, but...pack everything in the AM, skip the shower, put on my bikini and tube dress, hang out at the beach for at least an hour (I need to swim in my mother waters, not just traipse through my motherland) then go to my grandma's house in the metro area for a shower and a visit, before I slide into the airport in time to clear security and get on my plane home. I'm tempted to not shower and still smell of beach when I arrive in CT, but I imagine the sand in my suit may itch a little. Oh, let my face get a little red!

Wow, I meant for this to be a quick post, but I guess I wanted to share. Well, the good and funny. The sad and disturbing can wait until later.

I don't want to leave, but I can't wait to be in Lenny's arms!

Blogging from JFK

2008-05-15T05:04:00.003-04:00

Well, one thing that is now clear is how Neil Gaiman can blog from the airport...nifty little wifi spots with tables and comfy chairs. These seems very, very strange, but maybe we're finally seeing all that futuristic stuff that was supposed to happen eons ago.

So much news in the understar universe...

There's a new man in my life...

...and his name is Jake.

My friend Janeen had a baby last Saturday and invited me in for the labor and delivery. I was really honored, because, you know, you don't just let anyone watch your son crawl out of you.

So Jake was born a day before my birthday and he was the best present ever. Of course I'm in love--he's a fellow Taurus! And us bulls have to stick together.

I may be irreparably charmed by this child--and then he'll move away in a year or two, when Janeen's husband gets transferred to another Coast Guard post. I'm hoping they'll stay another two years. I mean, Jake's big sister Kalei (hitting her terrible twos) is quite a good friend of ours.

And how amazing, again, is it that Matt and Janeen were cool with me being there...

Flying home to Puerto Rico (hence the blogging from JFK part) because my grandfather passed away yesterday morning and I would like to be around my mom right now--it was her father, after all. I'll talk about it all more later. Let's think happy thoughts for a little while longer...

Eeek, gate transfer!

Been Meaning To...

2008-05-06T06:20:00.002-04:00

Between Lenny and I, there are a lot of comic books in this house. There's a lot of books generally, of course, although I'm trying to be incredibly good about borrowing from the library instead. But comic books are something we buy. I'm scared to think of how much money we spend. But the real point of all this is that I have a LibraryThing.com account and if you want to borrow comics (you must be in the general vicinity or very trustworthy--I don't mess around with my books) check out my LibraryThing bookshelf/catalogue. I'm working on getting all my comics up there, so that you can see what I have an borrow according.

Just thought I'd mention it.

I'm Here! I Swear! (Zine, B-Day, Comic Con, etc.)

2008-05-02T06:39:00.008-04:00

Back in the blogging fold: Yawn...

Be quiet you stupid alarm. I know I haven't blogged in a while. I've been busy.

Doing what?

Oh, well, just putting together a zine. Called Sitara (that means starlight in Sanskrit, because you know I have to make everything relate to the stars--it's my thing). Made a print run of 25 copies. Sitting on 23 of them. See, this is the hard part for me--the part where I now I have to take on a cocky attitude and just hand them out. Isn't that lame? Spend a month doing something and now that it's done I want to pile it up in my closet and let it collect dust. LAME!

Will someone just push me out into the open?

Sk8Gurl: In the realm of skating, like I said, everything else got put on hold until this zine was done. But I'm gonna have to get out at least three times a week if I'm going to do anything useful on it. Sigh.

27?!? Already? My birthday is coming. It's on Mother's Day, which means that it's kinda lame. But I can party the night before. Yes, yes, a party. My concept? I don't cook! Yup. I'm not making my own cake or anything. Surprising, right? I'm going for a gourmet cake--something about a hundred notches up from a supermarket cake. I am completely charmed by Take the Cake in Guilford. It seems like the kind of place that will be superb on taste.

And since I'm not cooking, but I have to eat good on my birthday, I'm going with gourmet tasties. Like finding all the best places for good take out--not good like "Man, this Chinese food isn't bad--it doesn't make my gut hurt" or "I love this drippy greasy pizza" or "This take out is fantastic--or maybe I'm just really hungry" good, but "Damn, this is the best I've ever tasted ever" good. I will accumulate these trays of deliciousness and force my friends to eat them, too, just so I don't consume more calories in a day than I normally do in a year. I want cheese. And stuffed peppers. And excellent prosciutto. And...well, you get it, right?

My rant: Have I mentioned that I don't like chain restaurants? I promise this rant will be brief. Any place I can't get a reservation and have to wait for a little plastic box to flash bright red before I can sit at a table is NOT FOR ME. Look, I cook very good. If I want ordinary steak (or even steak with gorgonzola) then I'll go down to the grocery store, buy a nice looking piece of organic beef and sear it up, flip and sear, and melt cheese over it. Seriously. If I'm paying good money, then I want impeccable service, unique food and, essentially, a dining experience I can't get at home. Going to Chili's (when Mezcal is on State Street) or Olive Garden (when I could just zoom to Wooster Square) or Ruby Tuesdays (when Rudy's has the best burger going in this town) just seems DUMB. It's like going to New York City and eating at TGIFridays. What are you thinking? Just take the train just about anywhere, walk around, read some menus and find something GOOD. And if you have a plan, make reservations at Per Se! Oooh, Per Se. I drool just thinking about it. This is how I'm going to tell you to NEVER take me to a chain if you're treating me. If you like it, fine. I'll go to celebrate your birthday/graduation/Mother's Day/Father's Day, whatever. But that's not how I celebrate. Yes, I'm a food snob. Sorry (not really).

OOOOH! I forgot to tell you...about Comic Con! Wow, that was lame. I really should have dedicated a post to it. Okay, okay, first off, here are photos from Comic Con in NYC. Day 1 was a Friday that I took off specifically to go. I'm technically an educator so I got in for free! And shared this special knowledge with Ra, who works for a school and falls under the educator heading, too. We went together on Friday. The plan was for me to attend some panels that would be useful for work, but it got crazy that day and I didn't end up going, so I took a vacation day instead of charging the day to work.

Due to the ubiquitousness of CPT, Ra and I got into the city kinda later than we meant to, but the Con was awesome. I've never been in a room with so many geeks! It was total nerdfest. For the most part, people were pretty cool. Some of the cosplaying was a little ridiculous, though. I mean, come on, I don't need to see your not-superhero body in a superhero costume. That's all I mean.

Highlights for Day One:

Taking a photo of Mark Buckingham (I was completely tongue-tied when I met him! Such a dork)
Attending the Vertigo panel and seeing all the new stuff they have coming out in their monthlies, plus hearing Grant Morrison talk in that almost unintelligible Scottish brogue (I think it's totally hot--hmmm...imagine that voice in the dark)
Going to the Neil Gaiman CBLDF benefit event and hearing Chapter 3 of The Graveyard Book in that lovely British accent
Meeting some of Ra's friends at SVA (School of Visual Arts) in Manhattan

Saturday morning was completely nuts. Stan Lee had a panel at 11am and when you've dragged yourself home at 2am, a 6:30am wake up seems like torture. But all I could think about was that Lenny had been reading Stan's comics since he was a little boy and I wanted him to see the man, the King, the Elvis of comics.

So we rolled out of bed, somehow managed to get Ra and be on the 7:55am train into the city. A cab to the conference center, a bit of wrangling to get Lenny's pass and a walk down the long corridor of panel rooms and we were there, sitting in the audience, almost 45 minutes before Stan arrived. It was like he was a rockstar, movie star, celebrity, royalty and everything else all rolled into one. When he entered, we turned and cheered and took photos. And Lenny got a little sheen of tears on his eye, because there he was, Stan Lee.

After that, the day was spent just looking around and finished up with the Milo Ventimiglia panel. Oh, right. I mean, the Devil's Due panel where Milo revealed the comic he was producing, REST. But it was the Milo panel. Sigh. I'd like to hear that voice in the dark, too.

Highlights for Day Two:

Stan Lee!
The dancing stormtrooper in 80's garb, with a radio
Milo!
Going to the Penny Farthing Press booth and buying PARA (which I peeped the day before) and getting my copy signed by Stuart Moore (the writer)
Lenny's pic with the Black Cat and black Spiderman
Buying the Johnny Ramone Army t-shirt for Hershey (although the real highlight of that was a week later when we brought it to her at Rudy's and she took of her shirt--yes, she was standing on the sidewalk in her bra--to put it on)
Lenny having the day off and being able to go
Actually chatting with Mark Buckingham this time, instead of being completely silent
The really good Blade cosplayer
The awesome Harley Quinn and Riddler costumes
The dude in the gray Superman suit who really did look like him

Now for the bestest combo of cutie hip-hoppers...Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell (everyone is just SICK of me bumping this song in my car--I know it's old, but new to me!):

Now, That's a Weekend

2008-04-21T08:00:00.002-04:00

Comic Con Friday and Saturday and then a cookout on Sunday. Whew. I think I just need to chill this week and keep my nose to the creative grindstone, especially since I'm shooting to publish that zine...

I know, I have to throw up photos of Stan Lee, Neil Gaiman, Mark Buckingham and Milo Ventimiglia. I know, I have to tell you all about the con and all the cool stuff that happened. I promise a more interesting post is to come. But as far as the con goes, you should check out YouTube, because there are at least 8 pages of video to scroll through when you type in "New York Comic Con 2008" and they probably caught stuff I didn't. Plus, if you find the 80's dancing stormtrooper on video and told me where to find it, I would love you forever.

And sometimes friendships come back from the dead, when moms get involved. Sometimes moms are very very smart.

More to come, I promise. I have so much to share!

Still Plastic Wrapped

2008-04-17T06:37:00.003-04:00

Well, I haven't been ignoring my blog because I have nothing going on, but more because I've had so much going on.

To explain my post below, Monday I got together with Cody and Ra at my place (we all had off because of April break for the kiddies) and we just cranked out some art stuff. Cody is also Leviticus and you can check some of his stuff out at his Leviticus Myspace page. He puts together beats and rhyme. Since I play keys (yes, I was a classically trained piano student for about 7 years and played in my high school Jazz Rock Band--that's what it was called--for a good three years after that, so I can read music and play), Cody and I worked on a couple beats. Once those are done, I promise to share. My dad would be so happy that all those years of paying for piano lessons has paid off! It was incredible fun to do instrumentation, especially since Cody and I worked well together. It feels good to be playing again. I forgot how much I like it.

Now Ra is a comic book artist and does custom t-shirt designs. You can find him at his Myspace Eye of the Sun God page. His chibi series makes for some seriously cool t-shirts. He colored three pieces at my place on Sunday, including a Captain America that I love. I want to be a chibi, too, except for the fact that I would need to be wearing an apron, have my camera around my neck, a pen behind my ear, my laptop in one hand, my skateboard leaning up against my leg, my softball mitt in the other and a group of teenage kids running after me saying, "Miss Rose! Miss Rose!" Entirely too complicated, I would think.

(Break while I actually draw what I just wrote about)

See what I mean?
Fine line pens, crappy markers and crayons

I went out for another skate lesson with Jesse. I picked up a couple things and got much less scared, which helps a lot. It was the first time out on my new board, which was really nice. I obviously have another good month of skating before I stop being shaky, but I'll get there.

I joined a new softball team and we had practice on Sunday. It was pretty awesome, really, because I didn't lose as much over the off season as I thought I had. A couple hits landed in the outfield (not far out, but who's counting?) and I made some good plays. Yay! I was sore for three days after, but whatever.

Comic Con is Friday and Saturday! I can't wait! You will see photos, I promise.

Work has been going good this week--the kids have been having a blast. They're so much easier to deal with when they haven't been at school all day. That bodes well for summer camp...

Well, work beckons. We're going hiking today!

Eat, drink, be merry and blessed be.

I Love the New

2008-04-16T08:30:00.001-04:00

In that corner we got my boy Ra
He's the flyest, freshest geek you ever saw
Puts the colors together like a jigsaw
Check the portfolio, that kid can draw

Then we got the producer Leviticus
Standing for the right and just
Nice and calm, never makes a fuss
Listen close, he's about to bust

Right in between them we got me
Starry Rose coming out for you to see
My fingers do a new dance on keys
Still got so much more to be

We meant Monday noon not morning
We run on CPT, we're the minority
We get together, testing this unity
The world is ripe, we're taking the opportunity

I'm learning to collaborate
be cocky and how to skate
I'm a horse ready to fly out the gate
This intersection just might be fate

Writing a zine just because
Taking a bite outta you just like Jaws
I can still catch them wizzing softballs
Not taking any time to pause

Best watch it now
Coming out now
This a promise
This a vow
Time'll come
When you say wow

*This is completely untested audibly, by the way

Snakeskin

2008-04-06T22:32:00.002-04:00

I'm doing all sorts of things that are kinda new and nerve-wracking, which just goes to prove that I really do follow the Earth cycles, whether I want to or not. Which has me feeling tight in my skin, a bit, which means that I'm going to feel all changed and such, but no one else will notice it, except maybe my closest friends. I suppose my boyfriend is doing that "Well, that's the way she is" thing in his head. He's been through quite a bit of ebb and flow.

I don't quite remember when it happened, but at some point I heard something along the lines of "If you want to be happy, you kinda sorta have to be pro-active and make sure that happens." And I'd heard it a million times before, but it made sense this once, so I've tried to abide by that rule. Meaning that I've been a bit stifled by this cold stuff, but now it's warming up and I'm taking advantage of it before it's November and I'm wondering why I didn't do more fun stuff.

Yes, I'm also vaguely exhausted with how I examine everything. Some things are what they are. I really wish I could lose the ability to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Right, so what are these new things? Going to a comic book convention, first off, and trying to get in with educator credentials, mostly because there are some panels I really am interested in for work. Yes, that's quite a shocker. Mostly, though, I end up bringing a lot of my personal skills and hobbies into work, mostly because I'm probably a pre-adolescent somewhere on the inside, which is also why I work with them. Go figure.

So, yes, New York Comic Con is on the agenda. I'm pretty excited to take photos, there, too, and just be in New York. I will also be the poor dork packing food, in an attempt to not empty the bank account in this foray. I'm going to try to get tickets for the Neil Gaiman CBLDF benefit thingie--not the $500 reception, but the $20 reading and Q&A. The other thing is that I'm pretty much going to end up on my own for Friday, which could be a blast. I like being that solitary traveler. I always end up writing tons and listening to good music on the train. Of course, Saturday will be done with Lenny. Come on, did you really think I was doing anything comic book related without my boyfriend? Please. He's just as big a dork as I am.

Also coming out of left field is my desire to put together a zine. Yeah, it's supposed to "come out" on May 1st, which is also Beltane/May Day. Basically, I figure I can put out 8 a year, to coincide with the eight pagan sabbats. We shall see...

Two More Poems

2008-04-02T07:31:00.002-04:00

Two more poems in honor of National Poetry Month. I've always loved Shel Silverstein (Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout would not take the garbage out...) and Langston Hughes is so much more than his "Dream Deferred" poem.

Where the Sidewalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

by Shel Silverstein
_

Negro Speaks of Rivers

I've known rivers:
I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human rivers
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young
I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.
I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln
went down to New Orleans, and I've seen its muddy
bosom turn all golden in the sunset

I've known rivers:
Ancient, dusky rivers.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

by Langston Hughes
_

I'm April's Fool

2008-04-01T07:08:00.003-04:00

It's National Poetry Month, in which case I think I'll post some of my favorites for the duration. You might even see some of my own poems.

Adrienne Rich's Twenty One Love Poems is one of my favorite poetry series ever. I read them in my freshman year of college, in some fairly basic English course I had to take. I think that the poems were particularly poignant to me as I was just discovering that I, too, like Adrienne Rich (and Sappho and Lillian Hellman and other literary greats) had an affinity for the female form, preferably not on a pedestal, but strewn across my bed (or futon).

I remember carrying around my copy of these poems in my journal and looking at them during other classes or eating lunch (which I ate alone, a lot). They were like my little secret. It thrilled me to discuss these in class, because non-heterosexuality was totally run of them mill. Who knew?

Of that series, I have quoted number 10 the most. So I'll begin there.

X
Your dog, tranquil and innocent, dozes through
our cries, our murmured dawn conspiracies
our telephone calls. She knows - what can she know?
If in my own arrogance I claim to read
her eyes, I find there only my own animal thoughts:
that creatures must find each other for bodily comfort,
that voices of the psyche drive through the flesh
further than the dense brain could have foretold,
that the planetary nights are growing cold for those
on the same journey, who want to touch
one creature-traveler clear to the end;
that without tenderness, we are all in hell.

-Adrienne Rich
Twenty One Love Poems
From the book Dream of a Common Language

I photographed Blackstone Library in Branford and I'm quite pleased with the initial location shots. I want to put people in there, of course, but I did like the set. You can see it here.

I also took some good color film shots with the new Rebel X2 (well, new to me). Someone told me NOT to use ISO 200, even if I was outside, but I wanted the blue sky and so I used it anyway. I'm glad I did. It's perfect for sunny, bright outdoor shots. Lenny and I went hiking two weekends ago, around Lake Wintergreen in Hamden, and I got those shots. I really love shooting people, but it was a good exercise. I also got some new shots of the Water Street grafitti, because it changed recently. Those guys are awesome. They really are.

I've settled Lenny's fears so I'm getting a skateboard! Of course, we spent some crazy cash this weekend on clothes and dinner (both necessary) and rent is due, so I'll have to wait a couple weeks. Which is good, because I'll be able to keep skating on Jesse's board and get better before I actually own one.

Now, if it would just stop raining, so I could go out.

LIVE! (+Skate Lessons)

2008-03-27T07:47:00.004-04:00

My kids at my after school program tell me not to use the word "cool," but replace it with "live."

All right, guys, this one's for you, because I think I get it now...

...the Talib Kweli show was LIVE!

Sure, the opening acts weren't that great and Joe Budden really could have kicked his two "back up" rappers off the stage, but Talib delivered. Over and over again. I am so glad I went to the show, even though it was a work night and I'm going to be beat today.

To make yesterday even better, I finally got my first skate lesson! Actually, my first skate lesson was when Jesse told me: "Don't ride when it's wet, it'll warp the board." My second lesson was when he said: "You're going to need skate shoes." "I have skate shoes," I told him. He looked skeptical, "No, like real skate shoes." Then I whipped out my nearly 10-year-old Vans and showed him the sole of the shoe, which I knew was right. "Oh, okay," he relented.

But yesterday on the sidewalk in front of Rudy's was my first "road" lesson. And I just have to find my balance every single time. I caught wind of it once or twice and it felt right--and good. I did fall on my butt once, but whatever. I just need to cruise around a lot so I can get pushing and turning down.

And I'm getting my hair cut tonight! I promise I'll show off.

Peculiar

2008-03-25T06:58:00.002-04:00

Connecticut is denouncing their witch hunts and trials from the 1600s. Which is cool, but no help, really. Although I suppose officially, it is nice.

Yeah, I have to talk about dinner last Thursday, but mostly, it was nice. And the food was good. And people ate at a decent hour. Yay for prepping!

I think I'm going to this place this morning, that is a beautiful set for photos. Of course, I won't have a model, but I think taking location shots will be good.

It's spring! And I'm so happy.

Oh, check out Understar Productions. I changed things around.

Tipsy Math

2008-03-23T12:51:00.000-04:00

Lots of food (like french onion soup, spinach artichoke dip, grilled cheese sandwiches, chicken salad and corned beef sandwiches)

+

A few beers and my Northern Spy drink (I warned that it was sneaky)

+

Late night celebrating Ostara on Thursday (the first day of spring)

=

Three people passed out in my living room the next morning

Everything's just wonderful...

2008-03-12T20:36:00.006-04:00

Do you think, everything, everyone, is going mental,
I'll give you my life if you wanna disagree, on rental

It seems to me that it's spiraling outta control and it's inevitable,
Like this shithead who is stickier than caramel

It's temperamental,
And I'm not premenstrual

It seems to me, we're on all fours,
Crawling on our knees,
Someone help us please

Oh Jesus Christ almighty,
Do I feel alright? No not slightly,

I wanna get respect I even made risotto
It's just the henpecked who won't let me get a glow
Well it's very nice-nice and now that will suffice
And I'm never gonna get it just because of my half carat

Oh well I guess I mustn't grumble,
But I'll bet you'll hear me mumble

I suppose that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
I suppose that's just your mind all a jumble

Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.

Oh no, I'm great,
It was just a long day,
I'm not losing my mind.

I wish I could change the ways of the world,
Make it a nice place
Until that day, I guess we stay,
Doing what we do
Screwing who we screw

Why can't I sleep at night,
Don't say it's gonna be alright,
I wanna be able to eat spaghetti bolognaise,
and not feel bad about it for days and days and days.

Oh no it's not the life I chose,
But I guess that's the way that things go,

Oh no it's not that bad I suppose
But I think I'd like to make some more dough.

Oh Jesus Christ almighty, Do I feel alright? No not slightly,
Oh I'd give my eyeteeth
To not act so unsightly

Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.

I played around with the lyrics from Lily Allen's Everything's Just Wonderful. You should really listen to it.

Hey!

2008-03-12T07:51:00.002-04:00

Another quickie...

Go check out my new photoblog (yes, it's different from Understar Photography because it's unpolished images and the photography website is my portfolio and services) at Stars in the Sky. It will hopefully get updated daily. We'll see.

Parade Day 2008

2008-03-10T07:15:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was Parade Day in New Haven and it never fails to be a good time. Although old Greek gods may be pretty well obsolete, I think that Dionysus (the god of wine, orgies and pleasure--and by extension, any combination of alcohol and partying) is kept alive by frat parties, Saturday nights at the club and Parade Day.

Armed with homemade corned beef sandwiches on homemade rye (click here for the recipe at Rose's Kitchen), a Nalgene full of red wine and quite a few Bud Lights, we were on our way. We made our stop at Rudy's (where it was Citron and tonic, then a Jack and Coke for me) and then set out with our crew to the parade.

That's about where the day gets fuzzy, but we had a blast. I really needed to let off some steam and it was great. And I finally got a picture with one of the Star Wars crazies (that is said affectionately!). I really wanted a photo with a stormtrooper, but I got a sandperson. Oh, well. Click here for Parade Day 2008 Photos at my Picasa Gallery.

I passed out when I got home, for a whopping six hours. I woke up, had some cereal, watched Family Guy and went back to bed.

This morning wasn't pleasant, but some cranberry juice helped.

Next year, I'm going to hunt down where those stormtroopers hang out either before or after the parade. I really want those photos. In fact, I really want to do a photo shoot with them...hmmmm...

Oh, and it was six in the evening and the sun was still out! Spring is coming and you know what that means...summer!

American Gods

2008-03-08T07:21:00.002-05:00

If you've never read Neil Gaiman (which I would find peculiar), or never read his American Gods, which is an amazing, amazing novel and probably my favorite book of his, you can read it for free here, for a limited time. I highly recommend doing this, mostly because, like I said, it's an amazing book and then I'll be able to chat with people about it, which I've never done. Since so many ideas about writing good stories come from this book, along with a bunch of ideas about gods and magic and such, having people around that know what I'm talking about would be nice.

Speaking of, I think I'll make Lenny read it.

It's all in the cards...

2008-03-07T21:04:00.001-05:00

Surrender

2008-03-07T20:37:00.000-05:00

I surrender.

But that doesn't mean I'm not angry.

Ha-ha! It only took 5 days...

2008-03-06T21:16:00.002-05:00

Every major active blog in my collective has been updated. Honestly. I've been productive. I talk about Linkin Park's Minutes to Midnight at Stellar Reaction. There's a fantastically simple Chocolate Mousse recipe at Rose's Kitchen (yes, I stole it off the internet). There are new quotes from Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli here and a Rilke quote here at Estrella's Journal (where I collect stars in multi-media). The post at understar photography and Twinkle Ink are basically the same, but they fit two categories (photomanipulation and poetry, the happy marriage I love).

But don't worry about clicking through, because I'm triple-posting that here. What is it? The Dreams Series posted on my gallery at deviantArt. So that would be five poems, with the first split into three pieces, for a grand total of seven 8x10 pieces, which are below:

Dreams Series
#1 - Relief (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
#2 - The Ordinary, Dreamed
#3 - I Remember That Skin
#4 - An Apology
#5 - A Dance

Please comment, since these were shown in October 2007 at Citywide Open Studios' Alternative Space weekend and I bored you with all the delicious torture that was getting ready for that. Please? And like the photo? That's from Monday's self-portrait shoot.

More photos to share tomorrow. I shot a little today, on my morning off.

A Quickie

2008-03-05T08:49:00.003-05:00

I did a self-portrait shoot yesterday and the shots I can share I will be sharing soon. Of course, there are some I love that I will share with those select few of you that know what I mean.

I was supposed to experiment with a 50mm lens on Jesse, but he got drunk and slept right through our appointment. Figures. At least he had a hangover.

I'm working on updating all my blogs more often, so I'll make sure to note that on posts here.

I really want to do some design work on understar productions, but it'll be a couple weeks.

Work is tough and anxiety-ridden. As usual. Normalcy is apparently not in my job description.

Parade Day is this Sunday and if I can manage it, I'll be making mini corned beef sandwiches on homemade rye. I always want a sandwich on Parade Day, but since everywhere that sells them mass produced them for that day, the flavors kind of suck. So I'll bring my own.

I'm also working on a couple t-shirts for Lenny and me to wear, but we have to see how that works out. I never seem to have enough time to do everything I want.

I know my sisters are probably all mad at me. I really need to call everyone. I'm just completely toasted at the end of a day. Well, more like a burned piece of toast. Seriously, that's how I feel when I get home from work. That and like a steamroller has stretched me super-thin. I need another vacation.

Uhm...well, I have a pro bono project to work on, so I'll see everyone later.

Man, do I have cabin fever...

What do you think?

2008-03-02T09:53:00.001-05:00

It's a spring layout change...what do you think?

I'm not sure how long it'll be around...

Show and Tell

2008-02-26T20:04:00.005-05:00

This is too hilarious for words: Star Wars Episode IV in the words of a three year old [via Milk Money]

And I have more things to share...like this appearance of Dream in a Dork Tower comic [via NeilGaiman.com]. There's a shift in style at Rose's Kitchen. I'm rather pleased with myself, really, mostly because I love the font (Kaela at 1001FreeFonts.com).

I've see this quote by Hermann Goring before, but it still rings true. It's sobering and a little hilarious, too. Don't you wonder what the aliens who have reality tv shows about us running around this planet will say? Giggle.

I kept jumping today. My body needs movement. I need my bike and a 60 degree day--just a wide expanse of pavement under my tires.

Maybe I just needed some Wacky Cake [via The Teacher Learns to Cook, which you should check out anyway--I have a little crush on his site right now].

Cheese that looks like yarn! Can I have one cheese scarf please?

Linkin Park's Hands Held High (from Minutes to Midnight) is pretty good lyrically. I meant to mention that.

I like this poster.

I'm a bit of a scatterbrain lately, can't you tell?

Of Course It Snows

2008-02-24T18:45:00.002-05:00

I've been keeping myself busy in my five consecutive days off (a lot of which I was at home for). Busy with a lot of nothing. Sweeping the floors because crumbs, dirt, dust bunnies and salt clearly have evolved the ability to multiply by mitosis. Sewing a bag with the toughest needle ever, that has also left little indents in my thumb (plastic bandages are now acceptable as thimbles in my house).

Putt, putting around with food. Finished The Amber Spyglass, just in time for me to sprint through Uncommon Arrangements before it's due this Friday. Brought my bike (okay, the bike someone left in the Dumpster, but I'll reclaim a halfway decent frame) for major repair before it's warm and I get pissed that I don't have a bike to cruise around on.

Took lots of photos of Kalei sledding and being generally cute. Researched lenses and am mildly sad that both the 50mm and 85mm prime lenses I want are 325 bucks apiece. Played around on the Dell website and built the cheapest system with all the essentials I need--again, mildly sad that it'll cost me around a grand. Which I clearly don't have.

Wore jeans without longjohns around the house. Watched too much crappy tv. Cleaned the stove, twice. Threw out some almost zombie-like food from the fridge. Drank red wine. Washed my hair and blowdryed it straight. Yes, I was that bored. Discovered the "R" key on my laptop keyboard needs to be struck fairly hard now. Eeek.

Wore glasses a lot. Bought comic books (and spent too much money on Buffy Season 8 variant covers--again!). Drank a few beers. Listened to some gossip. Drove a loader (a little like a real-life Tonka trunk). Ate at Kumo on Skiff Street. Had sushi 3 times in five days.

Thought about life a lot. Made lists. Cleared out the cupboards a bit. Kept thinking about cutting my fingernails, but didn't. Admired my wrist tattoo. Pretended the world didn't exist (and so, in avoiding the news, didn't realize that piles of snow fell on Friday until almost mid-day).

Yeah, I still don't want to go to work tomorrow.

The Hermit's Heart's on Fire

2008-02-21T07:40:00.005-05:00

The Complex Cross of Influence

The wands of creativity dig deep and down
into the Hermit's heart. He flinches in pain,
tries to hide, a futile barrier of black and white,
but life is gray, love, like the storming clouds.

Humans have the strength of flesh and bone,
skin to nerve to synapse to sensation. I can
feel your skin, and just below, the thin film
of your spirit, almost mingling with mine.

But we are separate from knowledge, from
magic and any bartering for our souls must
be done in a coin with no value. We are
small, blind to the glitterstar of true gods.

The sword cuts down with a flick, the Knight
shoves it in and pries open the Hermit's rib:
the jeweled heart glimmers in the moonlight,
blood silver and dripping with typed words.

He'll open his arms and let the five flames burn,
Every phoenix smolders and smokes, flames
and ashes, twitters and tweets, eats worms,
finds freedom on the air and wisdom in the wind.

The Wheel spins forwards and back, hovering
behind the scenes with the Fates, the power
behind their spin and cut. The Hermit knows
that he must now sit and wait again.

Show and Tell

2008-02-21T07:02:00.002-05:00

craftiness
I'm working on customizing a white hoodie sweatshirt in the theme of Rose's Kitchen, complete with a cupcake print fleece lining that I'm hand sewing in (I don't have a sewing machine and, to be perfectly honest, until I know for sure how lining something that I'm not making from scratch ends up working out, I'll stick with the intimacy and close detail work of hand stitching). The outside, of course, is going to be done mostly with iron-on transfer and some little kitschy charm/buttons that I found at Michael's. There are two other sweatshirts on the horizon, but I figure I'll screw up my own first.

There is also a weekender bag in the works, which is really just a bag with compartments that will hold (what I believe are) essentials--my Canon Rebel camera, my journal, my planner, lunch and snacks, wallet, cell phone, a book or comic book to read and a sneaky slot for a beer. Basically, I can't find one, so me, my hands and a leather needle are attacking the problem (via duck cloth).

foodie
You know, food posts tend to be up at Rose's Kitchen, but there some links I'd like to share:

late to the party, as usual: Eater is pretty much the little blinking heart machine connected to New York dining and I live close enough to NYC for it to matter

maybe I'll bake: a red velvet cake again, as inspired by this Serious Eats post: A Red Velvet Affair

should have shared this long ago: Udon with No Shoes On! (just click it)

stealing links via...
...NeilGaiman.com/journal - The cover art by Dave McKean for the book about Neil Gaiman named Prince of Stories: The Many Worlds of Neil Gaiman by Hank Wagner, Christopher Golden and Stephen R. Bissette on St. Martin's Press

...Serious Eats - The post about weekend food tv led me right to the blogger edition of Gourmet's Diary of a Foodie, and it was a little thrilling to see Pim talk in real life (and now I know which channel PBS is)

...Bake and Shake - She posts this link and now I post this link to Thus Bakes with Zarathrustra (because I kinda like it and I really like the web layout--ideas, ideas)

Well, Coincidence?

2008-02-17T21:39:00.001-05:00

From Yahoo! Astrology

February 17, 2008 for Taurus (4/20-5/20)

You might find it hard to accurately communicate your feelings, right now. This is probably a sign that you don't quite know how you're feeling! If you are in a mood to hide from the world, then hide from the world. You are in a good frame of mind to make the most of your alone time to figure things out. You need to tell someone something, and you need this time to figure out how to say it. A new hobby is in the earliest stages of development. Keep plugging away and don't give up on it.

2008-02-17T00:13:00.000-05:00

I have something to give someone, but I had to give something to myself first.

There is a girl, you see, who did this today:

She laid out a blue sheet on the floor, because everything had to be blue, according to the bit she read about the chakra she was trying to balance, the throat. Its color is blue, so she wore jeans and a baby blue tank top. She brewed tea heavy with cloves (it wasn't tasty, but it was part of a ritual she really knows nothing of, that she made up as she went along, because she's begun to trust her instinct and bits of information floating around the Internet).

She made sure, too, to look at the sky today, as that was also recommended. The sky was blue, blue as freedom and summer. With the heat on in the car, it was almost as if the sunshine held warmth. And she listened to music, music that has been in her car and ears and throat all week, Linkin Park's Minutes to Midnight.

She took the time to be calm and detach a bit from the physical world. Four candles at four compass points, legs crossed, MP3 player in her ears. She shuffled the deck and laid out cards in a spread that felt right, that was following the flow.

Then she read the cards. There were wands, because it always has to do with creativity. There were cups, the female suit of water. There were swords, for thinking, and pentacles for confirmation. There was the Wheel of Fortune, the Tower (she shuddered a little), the Hanged Man. There was a King and Knight. There was something about love and liberation, suggestions of pain.

She chronicled it all--wrote down the positions and meanings, photographed carefully.

She will hold all these pieces together and try to decipher the story. She went on an archeology dig, found hieroglyphics, catalogued, archived--and now she has a mystery to unravel.

And now she has something to give. She's not sure how to offer. Or when it would be right. But she had an impulse that has become a thought. Perhaps clarity will be possible.

2 Excerpts

2008-02-15T07:00:00.002-05:00

"'Dear Princess Bibesco, I am afraid you must stop writing these little love letters to my husband while he and I live together. It is one of the things which is not done in our world,' wrote Katherine Mansfield to her husband's determined mistress in the first cool days of spring in 1921. Mansfield was groping her way toward a new etiquette, at a time when the couples she knew both were and weren't married, and affairs both were and weren't tolerated. That same month Dr. Marie Stopes opened London's first birth control clinic on Marlborough Road; and the streets were filled with the new knee-length skirts."

"They felt that their love affairs and marriages were themselves creative acts."

-From the author's introduction to Uncommon Arrangements by Katie Roiphe

Becky suggested this book to me and then pointed me in the direction of something called an inter-library loan, which is how I got my hands on it. I am really excited about reading the rest of it.

*

"It's useful these days when everyone, it seems, has an opinion about food, to know what the hell you're talking about. And, if planning to actually cook seriously, it's advisable, it not compulsory, to know what it is you're doing."

-From Anthony Bourdain's introduction to Michael Ruhlman's The Elements of Cooking

When I picked up Uncommon Arrangements, I was also on the hunt for Service Included by Phoebe Damrosch, and saw that new books were being put back in the new section, which is where that book lives for now and where it would be going back to, if the person that has it would just return it! But in the process, I saw that Michael Ruhlman's book was there, so I snatched it happily. "This will do!"

And those are the first two sentences of the book and made me laugh out loud in the street, where I was skimming the intro on my way back to my car. I'll let you know how it is.

I Send My Love...

2008-02-14T07:16:00.001-05:00

A Post in Pictures

2008-02-12T21:06:00.000-05:00

Lenny and my sister, Ileana (she's light as a feather)...

My sister helping kids at my job make pigs in a blanket (or cows, really)...

This made me happy today...
It started snowing and I had to send the kids home early tonight...

Jesse made a penis out of fondant...

Me packing my lunch (shot by my sister in January--I love my flippy hair)...

My sexy kitten, Reina...

The latest pic of K...

Lenny stripping the ribs from Smokey Joe's...

The best ribs in Connecticut, from Smokey Joe's in Stamford (this is the "after" picture)...
Dave Hanzel draws Lenny on my chalkboard...

It's Just February

2008-02-12T06:01:00.000-05:00

Listening To: Linkin Park's Minu tes to Midnight (I know, I'm late to the game--aren't I always?)

Also Burned For Myself: Amy Winehouse's Back to Black and Lily Allen's Alright, Still

Reading: The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman

Will Be Reading Soon: Service Included by Phoebe Damrosch (whoever you are who has it checked out of the library, please return it!) and Uncommon Arrangements by Katie Roiphe (my inter-library loan has come through!)

Recently Watched: Transformers and this weird movie called Chopper that has been in my dreams lately...

Still Haven't Seen, But Want To: Juno

For the House? Puzzle Block Table (not that I can afford it)

Weirdest Domain Name: Spinookie.com (a recipe for a spinach cookie--maybe for St. Patrick's Day)

Anxiously Waiting For: Ostara on March 20th (Spring equinox) and New Haven's St. Patrick's Day Parade on March 9th (I already bought the pin!)--plus the return of Heroes

A Little Treat: Homemade Samoas Cookies (you know, those Girl Scout cookies with the coconut and caramel that were once Samoas, then Caramel De-lites, then Samoas again?)

I'm Not a Complete Hermit

2008-02-10T10:07:00.000-05:00

Stuff around the web I've been collecting to share:

Neil Gaiman celebrates the 7th birthday of his blog--click here to vote on which of his books should be free for a month!

I've discovered The Park Bench (for nerdy girls!) and Bake and Shake, which just caught my fancy.

At this site, the photographer takes kids drawings and makes them into photographs. It's really cool [via NeilGaiman.com].

At Serious Eats, I now want to try:

Oh, and Dorie Greenspan makes pudding.

And I'm going to try Aveda's Hang Straight [via comment at The Park Bench].

As I'm cleaning, I'm trying to figure out how to be a little greener so I guess I'll try Clorox Greenworks. Although I bet baking soda and vinegar can clean almost anything, with lemon juice thrown in for a fresh scent. How to clean your house without hurting the planet at Grist.com has some great advice, both which products to buy for real and ways to home-make stuff to clean (lots of baking soda and vinegar!).

Okay, later, later. Roger, roger.

Yup, the moon is still in orbit

2008-02-07T21:40:00.000-05:00

I knew a friend's dream and had a deja vu moment.

Imbolc was this past Saturday.

There has been a shivering of unease--difficult sleep, bizarre dreams, rising fever, brief moments of normalcy.

The cards have been asking to be read.

A friend I haven't spoken to in months calls me to tell me someone bought her tarot cards.

I've been haunted by daydreams.

I feel the blue-ish energy pulsing quietly in my mind.

I'm compelled to old journals that remind me of a calling I once felt strongly.

I want to read cards for a friend I have never read for. I can't be sure of my intentions--curiosity or a legitimate message?

I've been having metaphysical/religious/spiritual conversations with a knowledge-able counterpart. An intellectual equal, per se.

Speaking of Per Se, Adam of the Amateur Gourmet ate there and chronicled it beautifully. I want to go now. Oh, and French Laundry at Home is an awesome site. And I need to read Service Included by Phoebe Damrosch. It's checked out of the library currently.

Hum, hum...

Back to daydreams and The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman.

Dancing on the edge of a quarter...

2008-02-04T19:58:00.000-05:00

I don't know how much I want to say anymore. I feel like I've been talking for days. This is a peek of shoulder, me in a bathrobe on the other side of the door.

I have a daydream that haunts me, real words mingling with real situations on a stage in my head (Cue: "Writers are liars, my dear, surely you know that by now?" from Neil Gaiman), seen through a dream-haze and in the smoke billowing from the witches' cauldron. But then, I've been haunted by everything. I have that "I have all the pieces of the puzzle, but I can't see the big picture" feeling lately. And this waning moon keeps me from the cards.

I have a decision to make and I, clearly, have no intention of making it. I have many such things in my life that are in a similar holding pattern. There are things that belong there, in a web draped above my head from the ceiling of the sky. Those decisions should never be made (but then, that's a decision, correct?). But this particular fork in the road must be taken. I detest the scent of unlived dreams, the musk of fear and insecurity, the wafting reek of "what if?" and regret, the nasally-puckering sniff of a goal left unscored. I don't want to be that old lady on the couch, queen of a house of cats. I at least want to have visitors.

A feverish day, to be sure--up early babysitting unexpectedly, the sneaking up slam on the head of a cold. Aching for rest and yet unable to give in. I've just been unraveling wound up nerves, reading the small printing. I believe it says something about a vacation.

And all sorts of kitchen blogging I really want to do--and yet, no energy. Just six more weeks of winter.

And this too shall pass...

And this too shall pass...

The Moon Wanes, The Mind Drains

2008-01-31T22:42:00.000-05:00

Two days ago I had a vague dream that only suggested things shyly, like a smart child that refuses to raise their hand. Last night I had a clearer, but more disturbing dream. Today I carried around my old journal that I called Titanium Dreams. It holds difficult memories, some mysteries that I have now unraveled, some still confounding me.

I've been in a bit of a daze, gorging on millet in a thousand forms, yanked around by the waning moon, on edge, because something is going to happen. And I don't know if I mean Imbolc on Saturday (and I certainly don't mean the Superbowl on Sunday--although I've been building a football field cake in my head for days) or something completely different.

I finished Heroes about half an hour ago. I'm in the midst of answering a stranger's note on MiGente, someone who would like photos. I sent a text today that remained unanswered, but then, I haven't gone to bed yet.

I'm questioning career choices and planning Saturday's menu, modeled after a tapas service. But still, this dream is persistent, the little messages tucked into the corners.

I wonder what my emails look like, my blog posts, to other people who write with disregard to English grammar--is AIMspeak the new Ebonics? Will they teach what "LOL" and "ROFL" and "WTF" in classrooms across the nation?

I once believed something very strange. The only reason I don't divulge is that I may believe it again. I opened the notebook because something triggered me to dig in the box and find that one. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I knew it once I found it. I could believe in coincidence, but that seems like the strangest fate of all.

I wonder when I changed and I wonder if it means I'm closer to being wise--or farther away. I've always wanted to be wise. It sounds peaceful and like a room, a quiet room, to do each thing carefully and well--with focus. And time.

Ah...so philosophical.

Spring Training?

2008-01-28T22:15:00.000-05:00

I thought about something today that I haven't thought about in a while. This is how I process things: shut them up, shut them in, three little Fates (maiden/mother/crone) knitting like they used to, in a quiet cabin in the woods, miles from the general store and generations from this noisy time.

Eventually the maiden gets horny, the mother horribly overbearing and the crone entirely too self-satisfied with what she knows about me that I don't.

It all cracks open and I need to commit to viewpoints, yes, but need to take action. The past has mistakes that I find inexcusable on my part. But I also felt there was no reason to tolerate ill behavior from others.

There's that stubborn Taurus, still roused by a matador's teasing flash of red.

And there's the matador, poor fellow, who has no idea what's coming at him.

And there's the sniper with the tranquilizer gun, who makes the bull completely silent and still, who makes it walk away, without even trying.

Maybe, some year, the bull will go out to pasture and learn a thing or two from the cows chewing their cuds and perfectly content to give the milk someone would take anyway--those humans certainly do like cheese.

Methinks this allegory has gotten out of hand.

What it comes down to is, how much do I love the slap-slam of a softball in my glove?

Stretching Like a Cat for 2 Days

2008-01-28T06:39:00.001-05:00

An absolute slow down, a self-imposed two days of couch and chores done in between exploring culinary curiosities, immersion in fantasy stories, written and viewable, unraveling an idea into reality, analyzing color and the steady calm of being able to reach over and bury my face in the neck of my World Tree.

The floor is dirty, but the pantry is stocked. The fridge door is cleaned up, with inventory on the door, but the bills aren't paid yet. I learned a little more about millet and spinach. A patient woman helped me balance my coin. I bought fondant, in hopes it will turn into football players in my hand. Made nebulous plans to paint walls, pimp out a sweatshirt, hike up and down a large-ish ridge--no fruition, but that's only because they weren't quite ripe yet.

A shift in thought: perhaps creating is what makes me happy.

Oddly, my dreams were either forgettable or not vivid.

All in all, not a bad weekend to precede a Monday filled with ambition, punk songs, tan corduroys and plenty of time for a good bento.

Thank You Blockbuster Man!

2008-01-26T15:21:00.000-05:00

Woohoo!

You could pay $1.99 an episode to watch Heroes on Amazon Unbox...

Or you could go to Watch TV Sitcoms.com and watch for free!

The dude at Blockbuster on Chapel Street gave me the inside scoop, once I discovered that the episodes are no longer on NBC.com. He deserves cookies or cupcakes or something.

Back to catching up on Heroes...

Oh, I love how the Hiro in feudal Japan storyline takes inspiration from the best parts of anime. The swordsmith's daughter speaking Japanese reminds me of Sailor Moon's Japanese voice (not her lame-o Valley Girl American dub voice).

Peter Petrelli is definitely one of my favorites, still. But then, Milo Ventimiglia is very hot. Loved the shirtless scenes in Season 2 Episode 2. Yum, yum. If I was the sister of the bad Irish guys, I'd be trying to wriggle in there, too. But I wouldn't be surprised if she has a power, too. She's too curious.

And Claire grew back her toe! Eek! I loved watching that part. She'd be the perfect masochist, you know.

I definitely dislike Sylar, but they've done wonderful things in fleshing out his character. I like how lame his name origin in...he could just as easily been Rolex or Timex.

I suppose Molly's boogey-man is on the war path. But if Parkman is divorced, what happened to the baby he was having with his wife? Won't it be a Hero, too?

Peter is cute, but I'd take Mohinder, too. I'm fascinated by him.

And it's about time some Hispanic Heroes showed up. I was wondering when that vacuum would be filled. It's nice to understand them without subtitles.

Okay, enough chit-chat. Back to Episode 3.

I Want to Paint My Kitchen Wall With Chalkboard Paint

2008-01-26T09:56:00.000-05:00

First, you must Google these ideas...

Apartment Therapy post and comments make me think...do I really want to, being a renter and all?

Of course, Martha Stewart has something to say about making it customized. But that sounds like more work than I really want to do. Who needs little squares for a calendar when you can just draw them on with chalk?

See, the idea is that I don't have a lot of room for cookbooks and menu ideas in my kitchen--no place to sketch out ideas, except in a notebook, which is clearly not water safe. Besides, I have this big blank wall in my kitchen that needs something. Since it's my kitchen, I don't want framed photographs...although a small collection of 4x6's in small frames of old kitchen appliances would be cute. But not for an entire wall.

And I've always loved putting things straight on the walls. I don't like shelves--they have to be dusted and I am not terribly good at making sure that gets done.

Other problems in my kitchen? Very little counter space, so cookbooks get covered in whatever ingredients I'm using. Recipes get taped to the cabinets, but that's not aesthetically pleasing to me and not very functional.

A cookbook shelf near the stove would be good.

I've found myself in my kitchen so much lately (yes, more than usual, which is quite a lot--although I have to post some of my latest things on my kitchen blog) and little frustrations should be able to be cleared up with some design ideas. I think.

So back to chalkboard paint...

A search at Home Depot and Lowes turns up nothing. Krylon makes a version available at Dick Blick.com, but I don't know if I can use it on a wall. And I'm not waiting or paying for shipping something. Inspiration has struck and I want to take a couple of hours to "get 'er dun." But, perhaps craft stores will turn something up.

I'll report back on my crazy idea.

Visiting Kim at Woodbridge Farm

2008-01-23T05:16:00.000-05:00

While my sister was here visiting, there were a few things I definitely wanted to do and one of them was go to Woodbridge Farm in Salem, CT to visit my friend Kim, who is apprenticing there. The fact that we actually ended up doing something I planned on doing was a miracle. And we had a very nice visit...

Yeah, Monday I said I would post this Tuesday, but I was lazy about downloading photos from my camera...

Woodbridge Farm is an organic, biodynamic farm (Demeter certified) in Salem, CT, putting it at good hour away from New Haven. I got my Thanksgiving turkey and Winter Solstice pork shoulder from them, as well as a terrific bacon that I should have bought much more of.

The best part, though, is that my friend Kim, who I worked with at Solar Youth, had always dreamed of working on a farm, so that she could learn what she needed to know to have her own farm some day. She left Solar Youth last June or so and became an apprentice at Woodbridge. It's a whole different experience, eating a turkey or any food that someone you know well had a hand in nurturing (and, in the case of the turkey, slaughtering).

So Saturday, my sister and I headed to Salem, after a particularly pricey outing to the Cityseed Farmers Market which included Pecan Raisin bread and Voda Soap for my mom and Pleasant Cow cheese from Sankow's Beaver Brook Farm and Four Mile River Farm kielbasa for my dad--all of which were met with delight when they arrived in Puerto Rico Monday evening, via my sister. The cheese was apparently gone in 2 days. My dad said he never pays more than $5 a pound for cheese, but I imagine that statement being said as he slices his 17th piece of cheese off the wedge I sent him. My mom loved the bread--"I can't stop eating it!" she said. Well, well...it made me appreciate the fact that these amazing things are here, local and organic, in my little New York that is not New York.

I made sure my sister bundled up quite a bit--it was pretty nippy in New Haven, so I knew Salem would be at least 5 to 10 degrees cooler--and brought my camera. Once you get off the I-95 North, you pretty much get plunged into pretty Connecticut country (which is much easier to navigate in the daylight). "This is where Lyme Disease originated, you know," I said to my sister, as we passed the sign welcoming us to Lyme. "Really?" she asked. I think she was a little skeeved out at the thought.

After ignoring pieces of Mapquest's directions, we pulled into Kim's house. Knock, knock and we were in the cute little house she shares with her roommate, who was out. A huge bowl of egg salad sat on the counter in the kitchen. "You guys are hungry, right?" she asked, starting make sandwiches.

"Yeah, I actually didn't eat much breakfast 'cause I knew you were making something yummy," I said, staring lustfully at the egg salad. Those eggs were from the farm and nothing is better than farm eggs...

Then she brought out the bread. Look!

I think I really did swoon. I salivated as she explained that "one of our CSA members bakes bread and this one has millet and quinoa." Seriously, that bread couldn't toast fast enough. Throw on that egg salad, some greens, make a nice pile of greens next to them (I love mizuna!) and let Rose chow down before she keels over.

Incredible. When I imagine what most people think of when they hear egg salad it involves Wonderbread, mayonnaise and something sort of mushy and gross. But this! This was the Queen of all Egg Salad! And lunch was not lunch but Chez Panisse Grade Lunch. With ingredients like that...

So, lunch was good. Then we headed down to the farm so Kim could actually get work done, but first, a tour.

We went to the cattle barn and saw the Devon cattle, including this guy, Cassanova, who gets to breed with all the ladies in the bunch.

A little one, trying to keep warm. Note the little horns...

Kim with the Queen of the Herd. Her name might be Edy. I know her kid is Einstein and they use the same first letter to name a bloodline. Ingenious.

Then, it was off to the horse corral for my sister's favorite part--the Paso Finos from Argentina. "These guys don't really pull their weight around here," Kim said. "When I go to do their stalls, I knock on the door and say 'Housekeeping.'"

The chicken coop was fun, especially seeing Frenchy, the hen that Kim imagines "smoking a cigarette over breakfast."

Here's Kim with the rooster Mike.

Ah, and my sister super-bundled up, missing a glove.

As we tromped over to the greenhouse, Kim pointed out where the foundation had been laid for the creamery. Ah, Woodbridge Farm cheese...

Then to the greenhouse. Unfortunately, I can't really link to the feeling of walking into a humid, warm greenhouse after my nose tip was pretty much frozen. But, being a tropical island girl, the humidity felt delicious. "I would sleep here," I said. "I'd roll out a sleeping bag and live here." No photos of the inside, because my lens fogged from the temperature change.

Then we had to go. Kim had work to do and we were trying to get back before dark. But I did chat with Kim about the possibility of a CSA this summer (Community Supported Agriculture, which means you pay a certain amount and get produce every week during the season, May to November) and they're doing a drop off in New Haven. Last year, when I heard the price of a CSA share, my jaw dropped and I said no way. This year, after a summer of dropping some serious cash at the farmers markets, I find it incredibly reasonable.

As we drove south back to New Haven, my sister said, "My head is so full of ideas to think about."

To be honest, I was still thinking about that egg salad sandwich...

Heroes and Me

2008-01-22T06:33:00.000-05:00

I really wouldn't mind posting something every day. And seeing as people mostly read short posts, maybe I'll just queue up a bunch of posts on days I'm inspired and publish them once a day. So read a little every day. And put me in your RSS reader! I recommend Google Reader. Onto today's post.

I came extremely late to the Heroes phenomenon. I really try to avoid anything that has a huge fanboy thing going for it, but since I actually really like this show, I give up. I mean, I'm essentially a fanboy anyway--I read comic books, love Star Wars and Buffy. So there you go.

In that past three weeks or so, I broke down and rented all of Heroes Season 1 on DVD. My sister, Ileana, recommended it, and although I haven't always agreed with her taste, she's generally a good source of all things comic book/sci-fi/fantasy. Basically, she tries everything and I just watch the stuff that she actually thinks is good (which is, thankfully, not everything).

I was completely charmed and obsessed with watching all the episodes and am now just stretching out my Googling arms into the Internet to find what comes up. I don't like spoilers, but being late to the game (Season 2 is either over or in hiatus due to the writer's strike), I can't complain, so I'm just very careful in reading everything.

Some things I've found that interest me (this is not an exhaustive list):

5 Questions Season Two of Heroes Better F@#king Answer - This was written before the Season 2 premiere and can be a bit irreverent, but that's okay.
The Online Graphic Novel looks interesting and already has 69 chapters posted, so it should keep me busy--I'll be starting with the Chapters 1-9 section.
9th Wonders is the "official/unofficial fan site," which probably just means that NBC isn't sanctioning it or something.

I realized as I was putting together this list that until I catch up with the episodes of Season 2, I'm not going to really be able to look at some of the sites that interest me, which is why the list is so short. Unless, of course, I want to ruin it for myself, which seems a little silly.

I tried watching the first few episodes of Season 2 on NBC, but the videos are not found. A little Googling and I found out why. Amazon is charging $1.99 an episode at their Unbox store. The sad thing? I know I'll pay for it. Goddess, I want to smack myself upside the head.

Tomorrow: Visiting Kim on the Farm

Assortment (Like a Chocolate Box)

2008-01-18T06:46:00.000-05:00

Serving Up Photos (Like a Big Italian Meal)

<--This is my sister, Ileana sitting at Starbucks, warming up after a tromp through Chapel Street last Saturday. She's visiting this week. As we're both Taurus signs, we have actually just sat around the house a lot. We're having a great time, though. Sisters, we definitely are!

Below: Her beloved combat boots, her in a borrowed coat at Rudy's

<--Lenny reading the paper on Saturday at Starbucks. I find that some people photograph well in black and white and Lenny is definitely one of them. He is adorable in that jean jacket, too. This might be one of my favorite photos of him, yet. It's very classically him.

Below: Me and Jesse's girlfriend Liesl being goofy, a crane on High Street rising into the fog

Things My Sister and I Have Done (Like an Appetizer Plate)

Slept a lot
Go shopping (I now have five pairs of pants in rotation)
Snipped at each other
Rolled sushi
Eaten sushi from Formosa (be careful with the special rolls--they can be spicy!)
Eaten dinner at Mezcal (I love carnitas)
Watched Heroes
Planned hoodies to make (but have yet to make them)
Gone to Rudy's (Mom, she only had one drink, I swear)
I made her a plate of butternut squash ravioli with sweet Italian turkey sausage, drizzled with a white cheese sauce and she loved it
Picked on Lenny
Done laundry
Chatted while either she or I (or both) are getting dressed and putting on make-up
She got to see snow falling, which she found pretty (but she hates the cold!)
Visited Becky and Co. before Bex and her mom flew off to the DR (enjoy the warmth!)
Made plans to go to the farmers market tomorrow, visit Kim in Salem at Woodbridge Farm, have dinner with Fran and Tom on Sunday and make sugar cookies

Projects Percolating (Like Coffee)

Since no one has done it yet (I may actually have to have a conversation with the people at Cityseed first, to confirm this) and I am a cook, photographer and writer, my project for the year, both at Rose's Kitchen and perhaps as a print publication (I have to figure out if on-demand printing will work for this) is a Cityseed cookbook. Ah-hah, says you, she's crazy. Perhaps, yes, but as I was doing the farmers market thing, I realized that although Cityseed does a recipe in their weekly newsletter given out at the markets, there's no book that covers recipes, photos and the stories of the farms that sell at the market. And I've seen that a lot of farmers markets do. I'm curious about the farms in general, would have an excuse to go to the market every week and really focus on what's in season during different parts of the year. I imagine I would do it chronologically, with recipes for using things fresh and tips on preservation (which is my new thing, since I am absolutely dying without all that lovely produce and feel heartsick at eating tomatoes from the grocery store). We'll see how this all works out, of course, but I really think I'd love to do it. I'm not necessarily interested in money at all, but in the artistic challenge.
I currently have someone (a comic book writer-artist I met through my job) doing a little sketching for me for a story off AstroAngelos, which is a project I don't talk about much, but which is my Lord of the Rings/Sandman/Chronicles of Narnia--aka, my epic work. He says he has character ideas for me, so there we go. I think this particular project works best as a comic, but we'll see. If you do actually click the link and read, please understand that some of the writing is close to ten years old, so it's not my best stuff. I'm still working out a lot of kinks, but I think someday it'll be a pretty good little thing. And I'm very excited about seeing a page or two of it.
As photography and cooking have come to the forefront of my creative endeavors, writing has fallen a bit to the wayside. I've never claimed to be a prolific writer and that's because...well...I'm not. Things take time to form in my mind. But I think that I really want to write this play about Stella and Ashling, which references a relationship I had/have, but I'm moving away from the whole "tell it as fact" and moving into accepting the fact that I can only tell one piece of the story and that it's really an alternative future, not actual events. It works best this way, because actual events are really only meaningful to myself and this other person. So we'll see if I can crank out this play in the next year.

Quotes From Media I'm Ingesting (+Other Stuff)

2008-01-14T06:26:00.000-05:00

"...think of Adam and Eve like an imaginary number, like the square root of minus one: you can never see any concrete proof that it exists, but if you include it in your equations, you can calculate all manner of things that couldn't be imagined without it."
Lord Asriel to Lyra in Philip Pullman's The Golden Compass, once named The Northern Lights, which I actually like better, and which I also just finished, so I'll be moving on to His Subtle Knife, which is Book 2

"My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you...
...My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place
The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you"
Lyrics from Flyleaf's All Around Me off their self-titled album, which I kinda thought was Avril Lavigne at first and who I was actually irritated to find out was Flyleaf, because they seem particularly obnoxious on their little MTV spots (or it it the N? Or VH1?), but I kinda like the song anyway

"To absent friends, lost loves, old gods and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the Devil his due."
Hob Gadling toasting with Morpheus before Morpheus goes to Hell in Season of Mists, Volume 4 of The Sandman by Neil Gaiman, which I am re-reading, since my sister brought my copy from Puerto Rico

"The batter will look more like fudge frosting than cookie dough--and that's fine."
Dorie Greenspan's comments on Chocolate Malted Whopper Drops from page 85 of her Baking: From My Home to Yours

"Sure, he uses love for sex
and, sure, she uses sex for love,
but they're both hoping for the best;
I also have that dream you're thinking of."
Shelter's song Here We Go from their album Mantra, which I listened to an awful lot in high school

"Learn as much as you can about symbolism; then forget it all when you are analyzing a dream."
Carl Jung to his pupils, as quoted in A Man and His Symbols, which Carl Jung sort of wrote, but mostly oversaw, before his death

"Much of the theoretical basis for a modern defense of polytheism comes from Jungian psychologists, who have long argued that the gods and goddesses of myth, legend and fairy tale represent archetypes, real potencies and potentialities deep within the psyche, which, when allowed to flower, permit us to be more fully human."
Discussion of polytheism in Margot Adler's Drawing Down the Moon, on page 26 of the newly released version

"You idiot. We were trying to save lives."
Maria Hill of S.H.I.E.L.D., under her breath, as she watches Captain America escaping in #1 of Civil War on Marvel Comics

"A voice comes from the darkness. 'May I be of assistance?' The voice takes form in the person of a stooped man of about seventy. He hobbles over, leaning on a cane as he does. His knees creak with the effort. 'How do you do? I am Mr. Theodore Day, proprietor of the Golden Dawn, bookseller since anno regni reginae eighteen hundred and sixty-one.'"
The only line, so far, that has kept me reading Rebel Angels by Libba Bray, because the gothic-ness to the writing is a little infuriating, really

From My Very First Journal (Summer of 1994)
Which my sister brought with a huge box of writing pre-2001 (we're talking like summer of 1994 until 2000-2001), so we're talking I was 13 when I wrote this first journal

What will become of our love
when I am twenty-one?
June 24, 1994

Love is a very deep feeling and shouldn't be given away easily. It has to be earned. Very few people find true happiness with one person. I will. I'll know who that someone is.
June 27, 1994

All I want is to be alone
With myself and my mind
And a pen and paper
To record the only time
That was mine.
July 3, 1994
Now that doesn't sound familiar, huh?

As I come to summer's end
I can no longer pretend
That tomorrow when I wake
I shall be able to lay
with sunbeams streaming through the windows
and my mind going where the wind blows
Taking me across my schemes
of beautiful, romantic scenes
in stories recorded during
when the green grass was most alluring.
August 29, 1994

Lists

2008-01-09T20:34:00.000-05:00

New Around Here
This blog has a new layout. What do you think?
Rose's Kitchen has a new layout! Commenting now works!
Understar Photography has new photos!
My Flickr has new photos.
My Picasa has new photos.
And I have a deliciously red new Moleskine planner...

Currently...
...reading The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman, which is sorely overdue at the library
...obsessed with Heroes (like, severely obsessed), mostly because I agree with some ideas
...listening to Shelter's Mantra album (courtesy of Jesse) which reminds me of being 15 and dating redhead Greg (redheads have always done me damage)
...cooking with a lot of mushrooms--in risotto, salad and stir-fry--of the portobello, shitake and oyster varieties
...missing the farmers markets as I buy plastic-wrapped tomatoes at Wal-Mart (I really must get down to Trader Joes)
...excited about my sister's arrival tomorrow
...delaying satisfaction of reading Absolute Sandman, Volume 2 by Neil Gaiman
...drinking a glass of wine (The Reserve Yellowtail Shiraz, and it's yummy and cheap)
...avoiding football, college, professional and ESPN's endless talk of the perfect Patriots
...hatching a plan for Valentine's Day cookie boxes (maybe I'll sell them...)
...loving on my new blog layouts

Resolutions/Goals/Would Like To for the New Year
1. Make sure that Lenny and I spend quality time together
2. Go on 10 paid photo shoots
3. Create a Cityseed market cookbook, complete with photos and research about the farms
4. Write one full-length play
5. Show at Citywide Open Studios 2008
6. Make Rose's Kitchen a foodie blog to be reckoned with
7. Observe all pagan sabbats
8. Do all dinner parties tapas style, with the help of Penelope Casas' Tapas cookbook
9. Travel some
10. Go on 10 artistic photo shoots
11. Get another tattoo
12. Go on more hikes with Lenny because they're fun and healthy
13. Exercise at least twice a week
14. Keep this weight off
15. Keep in touch with my family better (more often)
16. Get a new computer
17. Continue to study dreams, paganism and other subjects that interest me
18. Use the library a lot
19. Keep my cool (The only comfort is the moving of the river, the only comfort is the moving of the river)
20. Do something completely and utterly spontaneous and amazing, that I've always wanted to do (I don't yet know what that is)
21. Oh, and go to art events in town to connect with other artists

Things I'm Excited To Do With My Sister Ile (over the next week and a half when she's here)
Dye our hair
Cook all sorts of different things
Take her to the farmers market (January 19 hurry up and come!)
Go ice skating
Go shopping for clothes (I actually really love her taste in clothes)
Do a New Haven walkabout (mostly involving walking up Chapel Street)
Design t-shirts with iron-on transfer paper
Make her a blog
Do a photo shoot (black and white and moody--ahhhhh)
Talk into the wee hours of the night
Take her to Rudy's and ward off Jesse (*wink*)
Take her to Becky's
Watch all sorts of movies that we've wanted to see

Uh-huh, It's a New Year

2008-01-03T07:26:00.000-05:00

Yeah, normally a new year starts around now. I still don't quite get it, as it is a bit of a random day--no season starts, nothing particularly astronomy-related happens on December 31st. It's just arbitrary. But I'll drink to that.

I've been doing my normal new year stuff--setting up my new organizer, trying to order my life in my head and making plans to do all sorts of great things. We'll see. I mostly want to play with my new camera and redo some blog designs and actually use my twenty million blogs.

As of January 1st, Lenny and I have been together for 4 years. It seems a little ridiculous, really, as I only meant to try him out because he made me laugh. But four years later, he's still making me laugh and my head fits all snuggle-like in his neck. He works so hard to make me happy and we decided that our joint resolution for the new year is to make sure we spend enough time together. This means that I have to sometimes stop immersing myself in things for hours while he sits on the couch. Because I do that. Seriously, I love hiking with him, so that's at the top of my list, once this cold stuff ends. I look at my life at home and it's so incredibly comfortable, something I shot for when I left my childhood home. And it seems to be going really well. Yes, we shout. Then we cuddle on the couch and watch Futurama (or Family Guy, now that Futurama is off Adult Swim. And I feed him. I love feeding him! Although I must feed him more healthy things, really.

I'm waiting for the new moon, so that I can do a tarot reading for myself. This waning moon has my head all over the place.

I cut my hair shorter than it's been in a while, but it's not really short. I have to post a picture...

I am definitely redesigning this blog and Rose's Kitchen. I'm annoyed with the layouts now...I like the 3-column, but not the colors...

Ah, a fluff post, but whatever...just letting you know I'm alive, I suppose...

Our Christmas (or Overeating)

2007-12-27T06:48:00.000-05:00

<--That's Fran showing off the basket weave apple pie she made for Christmas supper

We actually kind of opened our presents around midnight Christmas Eve, which was fun.

We tried to sleep in, but didn't. We were very, very lazy. I made Lenny French toast from Cranberry Walnut Bread from Cityseed, with a side of fried up Spam. Hey, I didn't say that I ate it.

I attempted to bake cookies but couldn't get into it.

I made a seafood dip that I think has tasted better.

We went over to Fran and Tom's for supper. Fran made a standing rib roast, which is just a huge chunk of prime rib meat. She left mine red and bloody and it was delicious.

I scored some cute presents. Fran bought me a meat thermometer, because I constantly borrow hers. And an electric carving knife, since I seem to cook large proteins and then cut them with a steak knife. Fran and Tom also bought me a single cup coffee maker, which is so perfect for me. Lenny got a hat rack, but that's really for me, because it drives me batty that his hats are littered all over the house. Who are the people that are organized at birth?

I played with my Rebel XTI, but the light was dim and I hate using flash, so I wasn't pleased with the results. Everyone else said they were fine, but I am picky about my photos, so it's all right.

Fran's daughter Beth was there with her boyfriend/husband Teddy. Teddy knows a lot about cameras and telescopes, which is handy for both Lenny and I. Lenny and Teddy are going to finally figure out Lenny's big telescope, which would be nice, since we have never figured it out. And it wasn't a cheap piece of equipment either.

<--That's Tom modeling the t-shirt I made him with Photoshop and iron-on transfer paper

Fran and Tom are hard to buy for. Especially Fran. So I went original with their gifts--custom-made t-shirts. Fran's has Fran's General Store on the front with Fran "Don't Mess With Me" J-last-name on the front top right and a photo-less Fran's General Store (complete with a list of services and products) on the back. Now, the running joke is that Fran's house is a general store--people always go there to borrow stuff, have her cat-sit, etc. Hence, I made her a sign for Mother's Day and just continued that theme. I see endless Fran's General Store branding products: coffee mugs, magnets, calendars, hats...

Tom, who had recently gotten in trouble for eating my cookies, got a shirt with Rose's Kitchen Staff on the front and Owens #1 Taste Tester on the back. They got a real kick out of both of them. The whole iron-on thing was pretty neat and I have one more I want to make. I only ruined two sheets of the stuff, which isn't bad.

We ate like little piggies, then went to Lenny's friends', Steve and Laurie's, house. And they're Italian, so there was a ton of food. I had my first encounter with ham pie. I didn't taste it though, which I'm a little aggravated about, to be perfectly honest. What does ham pie taste like?

It was a pretty tame Christmas, but nice, and the only thing that stank was that I had to work on Wednesday. And today. And tomorrow.

Whew!

2007-12-26T08:06:00.000-05:00

I Want To Shoot You With My Canon!
Holy cow, the world was good to me this holiday season, so far.

The queen and mother of all good things is this:

Yes, I have one. That's my Canon Digital Rebel XTI EOS camera. Not a loaner. Not that I'm not grateful for Janeen's generosity of letting me borrow hers! I can't wait to start shooting, getting lenses, learning how to photograph the night sky, getting new toys for it (flash, shutter clicker that you hold in your hand) and having it become my new appendage (I have acquired several "third hands": Photoshop, my Canon Powershot camera, my pen, Microsoft Word...so I now will have a seventh hand...). I can't wait to get behind that lens...

And to whom due I owe this wonderful gift? None other than the amazing boyfriend, Lenny. He basically dumped his bonus check in the account and said, "Go buy it." I think the guy at Staples thought I was nuts, because I was so emotional about getting it. Have I mentioned by boyfriend rocks? Ah, the amazing belief he has in me? I want to make back what we paid for it by doing paid shoots (crossing fingers).

Books and Other Presents
I have a pile of new reading material, which I am ecstatic about...I will be shunning the TV for awhile (except to watch the first season of Roswell, which I got on DVD!). I have already devoured The Eternals by Neil Gaiman, made plans to do every dinner party this year out of Penelope Casas' Tapas cookbook and flipped through Tennessee Williams' Notebooks, edited and put together by Margaret Brandham Thornton. The Williams book is a total drama-nerd book and I am so proud of it. I get to see the inner workings of his brain! His notebooks! Photos! Ahhhh...

I am still working on Rebel Angels by Libba Bray from the library, as well as Man and His Symbols by Carl Jung, et al. and Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler. I'm also reading Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things, but as those are short stories, I pick it up one story at a time, but must get on with it, since I got it from the library and it's due soon. My sister bought me The Absolute Sandman Volume II, which I nearly cried when I opened. Seriously. It's such a beautiful collection of one of my favorite comics series ever. No, it's my favorite comics series ever. Probably one of my favorite pieces of literature ever, too. There is so much Neil Gaiman in this house right now, I'm scared to rent Stardust and explode a Gaiman-bomb.

And know this--I am wearing very cool socks because my amazing Titi (means aunt in Spanish) Damaris got me about six pairs of the cutest socks a girl could have, not to mention a beautiful bracelet/pendant/earrings set, some great herb mixes and a soft scarf.

Holiday Cookie Report
I believe that all my cookie shipments have arrived. I don't have confirmation for Wisconsin, but the rest made it, so I'm assuming those did, too.

The California shipment was enjoyed while on the phone with me. Evelyn said everything was yummy and that her family jumped on them. They are officially on the cookie list.

The Puerto Rico shipment arrived Christmas Eve, a little holiday miracle that made me happier than anything in the world (even the Rebel).

The Maine shipments arrived and I already have a request for more!

The Virginia shipment arrived, and although the sugar-free cookies were "good, the other ones were better. I guess I'll just have to eat less of the sugar ones," my older sister sighed. Here's a pic of her with them:

For more photos of her silliness, click here.

I still have about seven boxes to make. Late, yes. Still yummy? Yes.

Solstice Supper
There are no photos of this event and I will probably go into it in more detail at Rose's Kitchen, but it was fun and the pork was amazingly good. I still feed people too late. One of these dinner parties will actually have an accurate feed time. Some day.

That's it for now, but I have to tell you all about supper last night, the gifts I got Lenny and the t-shirts I made for Tom and Fran.

My Body as Canvas (I Got Tattooed Again)

2007-12-21T05:39:00.000-05:00

My surprise to myself was...a new tattoo!

I got the idea a couple of weeks ago. I was sitting on the couch and it came to me. I had the line The only comfort is the moving of the river, from Sarah MacLachlan's song Ice, floating around in my head for years, but I got the design in a flash a couple of weeks ago--I wanted a symbolic river, with curling lines. The quote, to me, means that everything changes that is the only comfort and constant in our world. I'm resistant to change, so I wanted it, to remind myself all the time that this too shall pass and there is an ebb and flow to the pattern of our lives. Here's the doodle from my notebook.

Once I had the itch, I went to see Laura (also known as Cass) at Lovecraft Tattoo in Amity. She did my four elemental women on my birthday in 2006 (I turned 25 that year). I showed her my doodle and made an appointment for December 19th, 7pm. Once I was out of work, I launched myself to Whalley Avenue. And it began.

This is her chair and studio. She has amazing stuff on the walls to stare at and pretend it doesn't hurt (tattoos hurt, but that won't stop me).

I asked her to fix up the design (I am not a drawer, by any stretch of the imagination) and to do it in color and black, so I could choose. Although the blue is pretty, I went with black--I'm not ready for color. I like the black on skin look. Besides, I can always add color later, if I want. The design went around my right wrist, with the words on the inner wrist.

Here's my right inner wrist, in its last photo untattooed.

Here I am, under the needle gun, in Cass's capable blue-gloved hands. She is the best, I think, especially for delicate, fine-line work, which I love. But she also takes design ideas and makes amazing things. Seriously. I've seen other tattoos she's done.

The finished product, right inner wrist.

The finished product, outer right wrist.

The finished product, star on right shoulder (I suppose I forgot to mention that I also had that done, which is the beginning of a freckling of stars down my right arm, maybe even down my right side--I also had my umi tattoo touched up, since it had a small spot where the ink didn't heal into it).

Ahhh...I love new work. What do you think?

Other Things
So far, I've donated 900 grains of rice through Freerice.com. Check it out: you answer vocabulary questions and for every one that you get right, you donate 20 grains of rice. 100 grains equals one bowl of yumminess for someone who doesn't have it. Thanks to Karen at the Wet Donkey.

After today's craziness of the kids' holiday party, it's Solstice Supper tomorrow! Yay! And four days off!

The last cookie shipments went out yesterday. Now it's just a waiting game.

The Rebel will be in my hands sooooooon...

Still Baking

2007-12-19T07:16:00.000-05:00

I totally stress myself out. Is my moon sign Virgo? I think so. Here, see what I mean.

I think I finally have a cook's hands--little burns and nicks. No blisters, although I do get quite an arm workout by hand mixing everything. I don't have a KitchenAid stand mixer, you see.

I need new dish/kitchen towels. And if someone wants to give me oven mitts (or knit me a pair), I would be much obliged.

There's snow everywhere.

I get my surprise today! That is, I hope I do. I haven't gotten exact confirmation yet. Need to make a phone call later. After noon.

CONGRATULATIONS to Karen at the Wet Donkey. She's a nurse now! If I ever were to have a baby, I think I'd have to fly to Wisconsin so she could be my OB nurse.

Well, that's all for now.

Moon Signs

2007-12-18T08:24:00.000-05:00

I am a Taurus sun sign, with a Virgo moon sign. Holy crap, no wonder I'm impossible. I even find myself impossible sometimes.

I have never seen a cookie shrink when baking, but lo and behold! The sugar-free cookies I'm baking for my sister do, in fact, shrink. I think it's the gelatin. Some of them even foam up. Weird.

Lenny gave me the bestest present today: he got a ride to work, so I got to sleep until 7am. Aaahhh...now I don't want to scream.

Hey, I get to eat Indian food for lunch today with my boss. Cool.

How can one conversation throw me for a loop for days?

I get my surprise tomorrow night!

I'm pretending that I'm not completely exhausted today. More coffee please.

I need flour, butter, sour cream, parchment paper, more bittersweet chocolate, more white chocolate (sorry, Mom, I kinda screwed up the first batch of cranberry cookies), cranberries and about 24 more hours added to today. AUGH!

I haven't balanced my checkbook! I need to do laundry, clean the bathroom, go to the supermarket, make cookie boxes (like, the actual boxes because for some reason no one makes premade cookie boxes that aren't outrageously expensive!), prepare for solstice supper (which I'm actually looking forward to and refuse to complain about) and...that's not including the schliza-spin at work.

Hey, I'm zen. I can handle it.

I'm Not Dead

2007-12-17T05:37:00.000-05:00

<--Me in the snow, happy to have an afternoon off

Nope, not dead. Just baking a lot. 7 shipments MUST go out by Wednesday, and even that's a little late, but I can't do much about it. Overnight shipping, I suppose. My biggest box is going home to Puerto Rico, which has to satisfy quite a large audience. Requests were made and will be honored, mostly because my parents rock and I'll do just about anything within my power to make them happy. Let's just hope nothing spoils, breaks or turns into cookie mush.

By the way, I will post the cutesy boxes, but after shipments are out and arrived. I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Solstice Supper is Saturday, but I'll be up at 1am to honor Brigid at the correct hour. I am making sure that I get to enjoy this dinner party by creating an intense prep menu that leaves everything just about done (only requiring some fussing and reheating) by 6pm. I'd love a cute dress with tights, but my surprise is expensive.

Oh, oh, my surprise. I'll be picking it up Wednesday night! I promise to take a picture and post when I get home. I'm very excited about it, although I do feel a little guilty about spending that kind of cash on myself. But you'll see...

<--Holiday Sugar Cookies

Oy, work. I am still young enough to remember winter vacations. Yale spoiled us particularly well, with three whole weeks off. I miss that. I just want to hibernate lately. Actually, no, I just want to not worry about work so that I can get everything else done without feeling like a walking zombie. We have our holiday party for the kids on Friday and I'm starting to freak out a little, because I don't have a lot planned yet. Oy, vey. It'll get done, no matter what. I'm sick of being the only person on duty, but next week, when we're doing our gingerbread house making episode (a three day workshop trying to get kids to be patient with royal icing), I'll have extra hands on deck. Thank you, goddess!

Can you believe that I'm still getting people telling me, "Don't lose more weight." I haven't! Not in two-three months...I suppose a lot of people haven't seen me in a while. And no one knew me when I was the proper weight. I'm still short, people. Still shouldn't be clocking in at 160, 150, 140 or 130. 120 is tolerable. 110 is perfect, prior to holiday eating. I'll let you know if it goes up, all right? My main worry right now is that with all the holiday craziness I haven't even thought about going to the gym. Now that's bad. That concerns me, because I don't want to be skinny, I want to be in shape. Those are two different things. I want to be able to run a mile in seven minutes. Yah, right.

Things I've found to be interesting, in the five spare minutes a day I get online:

Baking with Dorie at Serious Eats - Fluff-filled Chocolate Madeleines: She wrote Baking, the book I'm cooking at Rose's Kitchen and these look yummy.

Hunters were the first locavores, according to this article linked to from Serious Eats.

Menu for Hope is a fundraising event across food blogs; basically, it works like this, you buy a $10 raffle ticket to win a fantastic prize (and they are truly fantastic) and you help the UN World Food Programme, specifically to help fund the food lunch program in Lesotho, Africa. I haven't bought any raffle tickets yet (and I plan to buy at least three, because there really are some great prizes I'd love to win and this is a great cause. I encourage you to click the link and join in!

And some photos from round here lately:

Molasses spice cookies, Janeen's daughter K in the snow, Chocolate malt cookies

Paulo Coelho Speaks Truth

2007-12-13T06:04:00.001-05:00

Handing out cookie boxes is fun. I'm currently making the boxes out of white posterboard, sticking original labels on them and adding a strip of beautiful paper and a green satin ribbon. People kind of go "Oh" when they see them.

Probably my two favorite reactions were John the librarian (who did not expect me to bring him anything, as we are not friends, co-workers, or even really acquaintances--but I did get the Baking book from him when I went to the library several weeks ago. Two cookies in the current boxes (the assortment will change, depending on quantities of dough) are from the book, so I only felt it was fair to give him some. We had a long conversation when we met (which caused me to get a parking ticket, but whatever) and another one when I delivered cookies (this time I filled the meter more than I thought I would need--and I now carry spare quarters to quell the desires of the angry meter gods). He's very pleasant and bookish and it's nice to have conversations about food and books with him. I made this friend all on my own, which I'm a bit proud of, since Lenny is the ice-breaker and I'm the maintainer in a lot of friendships. Either way, he showed his box around the children's section where he works and everyone was very interested.

My boss showed off her box around her office yesterday. She really liked the whole design of the thing. My favorite question is "Did you make these?" Yes, I made the boxes, the labels and of course I made the cookies! What would be the point of creating original packaging if what's inside isn't original? My boss thinks I should open up a business. I dream of that a little, but I'm only 26 and only freakishly gifted people are able to open businesses and not fall flat on their faces at that age. Although having a little bakery and making people happy every day...oh, the smile of Delight would be lovely, although she became Delirium (this is a Sandman reference).

The one person who has not answered phone calls or returned emails regarding inquiries as to their address, so that they may get a cookie package, has me frustrated. Perhaps it's something we shared a long time ago, me cooking for them, and they don't want to flavor of that to return. Because the holiday sugar cookies are the same ones I made for them once, in the shape of frosted pink hearts, tucked into their locker one year for Valentine's Day. I don't think they've had them since. Or perhaps they simply don't want to talk to me, which, I suppose, is fair enough. It's always fair enough.

I'm reading Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen (do I really have to link to this again?) and it's a little bit like sipping a margarita.

I handed over my first commercial product--the menu for Mezcal--last night. Several things I learned:

People are not always sure what they want
I need a better computer--or really, a faster processor, to be specific
I can get these sorts of things done faster than I think
It's soooo nice to be done
My eye for formatting/red-lining/editing is still good
A photograph I took has, at least once, made someone want to eat it and that's a good thing
I might actually be good at this and it terrifies me

Yes, it terrifies me. I'm good at baking, at making things pretty and appropriate, at taking photos that tell stories, at writing and creating.

It's what I'm meant to do. And I can guilt myself into thinking that it's selfish, but really, how? I bring people to my table. I give gifts. I do things if asked in such a way that I know someone really wants it (well, within moral reason).

This is my gift. And I won't be happy until I do something about it. It'll be hard. I'll have to take business classes. I'll have to set prices that reflect true cost and worth. I'll have to work hard. But somewhere I know that I must. The joy of the baking, the giving, the planning, the photos, the designing, the creating--perhaps I am that Empress card in the Vertigo Tarot.

It's not so much that other people are filling me with dreams--it's simply that they see what I do and say, "You should..." And since that blank is normally filled with things that would also fill in the blank of "I want to..." I think it might mean that it's right.

Becky once said, "Why do you shy away from things that would make you great?" Okay, she didn't say that exactly, but that was the gist. And the answer is, "I'm terrified." My biggest dream for myself was publishing a book, getting a play on Broadway. The dream gets bigger as I realize that I'm not simply a writer, but an artist.

Time to read The Alchemist again.

Books

2007-12-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

I have rediscovered the library. Becky would be so proud if she wasn't in her last week of grad school.

Books I've read/checked out/am reading from the library:

Recently finished Sushi for Beginners, which is not about sushi very much at all, by Marion Keyes. A girlie book, for sure, but still good. It kept me interested and I liked a few of the twists, although I saw a couple of the romantic couplings from a mile away. It's set in Ireland, too, so that was fun.

Just finished Faerie Wars by Herbie Brennan today. A kid book, but so are comic books (tongue in cheek here). I really liked it and gobbled it up quickly, considering all the things I've been doing lately. The sequel is in the library.

Mulling through Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman. Reading his blog has me feeling very familiar to him, or is it that I am drawn to him and so read his blog every day because he has always been familiar to me? He walked right by me when I saw him do a reading at Yale two summers ago. He really does wear that leather jacket everywhere.

I am delaying my satisfaction of Kindly Ones (Sandman Volume 9), again by Mr. Gaiman. It's been sitting on the little table at the end of the couch.

I only meant to return books and pay my fine (see, at least I pay my fines!), but I got into a conversation with Melissa at the Wilson Library, the librarian there, about young adult novels, since I seem to be drawn to them. We work in the same community so I interact with her a lot, but I mostly just like her because she's the Keeper of the Books. I have never had trouble respecting books, so librarians and I have always gotten along.

She recommended Rebel Angels by Libba Bray and The Long Night of Leo and Bree by Ellen Wittlinger. They ended up in my arms and on my checkout list.

While I was at work, I scanned the online card catalog and found Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen was on the shelf at the Main Branch, as was The Golden Compass by Bill Pullman, which both Lenny and I have wanted to read. Luckily, it was open until 8pm, so after work I yanked myself into a parking spot across the street and ran in.

Whew.

Charm Bracelet (It's a Metaphor)

2007-12-06T06:23:00.001-05:00

My sister Ile will be coming to visit for about ten days in January. I booked her flight on Travelocity two days ago and called her up. We're already making lists of movies we have to see together (I vote for Tristan and Isolde, because I adore love stories, especially ones based on old literature, even if they do take some artistic liberties with the stories), recipes we have to make (we'll be rolling sushi, which is something I recently learned how to do) and things we have to do (hit up the farmers market--Cityseed is running one market a month from January to April and January's just so happens to land on a weekend when she's here!). I'm super-excited and she's super-excited. Thing is, she finally got old enough for a visit (she's 21) and Travelocity gave me a ridiculously good deal (trust me, flying from PR to CT can get expensive, even when it's gross and cold up here and no decent Puerto Rican would really want to come). I haven't spent much time with her as just us, so this will be a treat for both of us.

Does anyone know where to get waxpaper with printed designs on it?

My new favorite quote is from Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things in a story called "The Flints of Memory Lane:"

I like things to be story-shaped.

Reality, however, is not story shaped, and the eruptions of the odd into our lives are not story-shaped either. They do not end in satisfactory ways. Recounting the strange is like telling one's dreams: one can communicate the events of a dream but not the emotional content, the way that a dream can color one's entire day.

Expect a design change at Rose's Kitchen, mostly because Karen at the Wet Donkey says my commenting doesn't work there. And someday, I'd like to be known a little bit in the blogosphere for my foodie blog, but without a functioning comments section, that seems a little unlikely. And I don't like it when things are broken!

Holiday baking will be at full speed ahead this weekend. I'm going to start distributing cookies...

The Army of Forks and Spoons is a cooking club I want to start and the first meeting was supposed to be Saturday. Except Lenny has a funeral to go to in Massachusetts and my brain can't really handle a meeting. So I'm suspending the First Muster until January. Grrr...I hate canceling things.

The Mezcal job is almost finished. CutePDF has made me very happy, being a free PDF creating option. Adobe wanted to charge me $10 a month. I was supposed to finish by yesterday, but it soooo didn't happen.

Work is a little like walking through mud--for the seventh month in a row. I love my job, I highly dislike the state things are in. But I'm baking cookies with the kids today and they're so excited. As am I, little ones (actually, medium-to-normal-sized ones, but you get the picture).

I have a new tattoo design I want. Yes. Highly visible, too, for the inner right wrist. Off to Lovecraft to see Laura very soon.

Later.

Why I Don't Celebrate Christmas (But Still Give Gifts)

2007-12-04T07:25:00.000-05:00

This is not a rant about crass commercialisim, but it is an explanation of why I don't celebrate Christmas. I have no problem with the "Christmas spirit," although the name grates my nerves a bit. I don't think Christians have a monopoly on generosity, family gatherings, hope or general goodwill. I'd rather think of it as the holiday spirit.

But to cut to the heart of the matter, I'm a pagan and Christmas is a Christian holiday. I do not rain on anyone's parade and will participate in Christmas dinner at my neighbor's house this year for several reasons:

They invited us, and we are close friends, so we will accept the invitation graciously
Lenny is not a pagan and so should be able to celebrate his holidays accordingly (he claims he is a non-practicing Catholic)
I will be inviting them to Solstice supper three days prior
Part of tolerance and part of expecting tolerance for my pagan beliefs is tolerating and sometimes participating in other traditions (for example, if I was invited to a Hannukah celebration by someone who wanted to include me in their traditions, I would go)

And, as far as gift-giving goes, I will be doing that as well. It's nice to give gifts, fun to watch people delight at something and it's a good a time a year as any to do so. I'm not going to sit back and Scrooge it because the impetus is generally Christian in nature. At least the original impetus. And if people give me gifts, well, I'm not stopping them.

Culturally, we celebrate the holiday season. To push all that away is just silly--we're celebrating! We're being generous! We're advocating hope! We're putting goodwill out into the universe! I can get on board with all of that. Hey, I'll celebrate with you; I'm celebrating the coming of the longest night of the year (and the eventual lengthening of days), you're celebrating the birth of your savior, but what the heck. Slice me up some ham/turkey/pork/roast beef/chicken and pour me a glass of wine. We at least agree that there's something worth celebrating.

I have my own holiday. I just wish that, in those general greetings (Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Hannukah! Happy Kwanzaa!) someone would remember the Winter Solstice.

May Brigid's fire burn on.

Happy Attempt

2007-11-26T10:01:00.000-05:00

Ways I will make myself get through the day:

A yummy bento with shrimp and butternut squash mash
Stopping at the public library to pick up Garden Spells (I can't remember the author's name, but that's why there's card catalogs)
Writing that poem that has been niggling at the back of my head (or poems)
Wearing my new jeans
Listening to music I like off my much-ignored mp3 player

Ways I'll be productive today:

Actually do reference checks
Start my November report
Go to the post office, buy stamps, mail bills
Balance my checkbook, again
Return books
Start that Mezcal project, so I have a mock up to show Ricardo

New Photos at Flickr (+ Notes)

2007-11-25T23:05:00.000-05:00

I uploaded a bunch of photos to Flickr, so check out them out, if you're so inclined, by clicking here.

I spent a couple of hours tonight packing up Thanksgiving leftovers for freezing: turkey, turkey bones for stock (they're going to make a wicked stew), cornbread stuffing, cranberry sauce, Evelyn's beans. My freezer is now so full I am not worried about getting stranded in my house for a few days. Seriously. You'd think I was actually a farmer, preserving for the winter.

I also spent three hours buying new clothes today. Yes. Somehow, retail therapy does not work for me. I end up feeling crappy and stressed out after shopping, second-guessing every purchase. I didn't have a choice, though, as everything I owned was at least a size too big. I don't mind the new coat.

The Patriots pull it off, oddly enough.

Broccoli rabe in Italian sausage is good.

Shrimp risotto is yummy, too.

I don't know how I'll use MOO printing services, but I think I might have to, because I'm way too curious.

I really, really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I've had five days off and I can barely remember what I'm supposed to be doing. Oh, right. Stress.

My next food project? The Army of Forks and Spoons (cooking club) on December 8th.

I really need to get cracking on my first paid graphic design job. Haha...I'm so used to taking my sweet time, because I used to do everything for free.

Okay, sleepytime.

Getting the Stink Blowed Off'n Us

2007-11-25T02:23:00.000-05:00

We hiked in East Rock Park today

The Day After...

2007-11-23T21:55:00.000-05:00

To read all about my Thanksgiving, see the following reports at Rose's Kitchen:
Reports #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6 (includes menu).

<--Jesse and Liesl spent the night and this is them in the wee hours of the morning. I never thought of Thanksgiving as a partying night (more like family time), but we definitely crashed like a good blowout makes you do. My head is already formulating leftover dishes. It took us four hours to clean up this morning, but the house is back to normal. I wish I had taken more photos, but I was up to my ears in food, so it didn't happen.

I've started thinking about original holiday gifts, which was prompted by this post at Farmgirl Fare. Don't be surprised by an understar original as a gift. I think I'll be making cookies, maybe candy, although candy is a pain in the butt. The best part is that you make lots with one batch.

I really love my IKEA table. It cleans up just fine (a rag and a little Fantastik) and was a real trooper yesterday. It made my life so much easier.

Plans for the rest of the weekend: see Beowulf at some point, hike East Rock with Lenny (he actually wants to go!), work on the Mezcal job, finish my datebook, hit the gym on Sunday.

<--This is Janeen's daughter sitting on my belly when they came over for leftovers lunch. I just thought it was a funny picture.

We haven't done much today and it's nice. The day, after cleaning up, just sort of floated away, which is okay, because it's really just Friday and we still have two days off. Lenny and I really needed a break and some time together. I've been blogging for a couple hours and surfing, eating bits of food I'm quitting tomorrow, although I am pretty excited about a tofu stir fry. I don't just eat the way I do because it's healthy, you know. It tastes pretty good. Lenny is sleeping now and has no idea about leftovers breakfast I have planned.

Thanksgiving Love

2007-11-22T15:08:00.000-05:00

Wishing you well, one geographic location at a time.

Crumbs (Garlic and Herb Bread Ones, Please)

2007-11-20T07:12:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving Tasks Completed

Yesterday (11/19)

First shopping trip (which involved a drive to Wallingford, due to a water main breaking on Rt. 80, near the Walmart Supercenter I wanted to go to)
Lenny and Tom assembled my kitchen table (and I am completely charmed by its delicious clean lines and all the walking space in the kitchen--it makes me absurdly happy, so there might be something to this feng shui thing)

Thanksgiving Tasks To Do Today

Today (11/20)

Make something for work potluck
Make cornbread to go stale
2nd shopping trip
Roast pumpkin
What about plates? I hate paper plates, but don't have enough nice ones...
Plus lots more I haven't figured out yet

Trickle, Trickle, Drop, Drop

No fire in my oven! My neighbors had be thoroughly OCD'ed out when I mentioned I cleaned my oven, swearing I had to clean every crevice to get all the oven cleaner out, or I'd have a fire. Sheesh. Don't they know?

I've been washing my face with a washcloth and it is a very calming ritual.

I got homesick yesterday shopping. I haven't been home for Thanksgiving in years and I'd love to shove my mom out of the kitchen to "do it up" for them, although I suppose part of the fun is that everyone cooks together. All right, all right. I'd let them help.

And there I go, making light of an unpleasant feeling. I miss my family.

It's Tuesday and I'm making rice con salchichas for the Thanksgiving potluck at my youth program. One of the kids asked for "the rice with the little sausages in it." So I oblige. Plus, I figured I'd make an extra cornbread, since I made two to let get stale for stuffing. So there.

R, the cartoonist teaching my kids to draw comics, seems to like chatting with me and I see, in his eyes, the same hunger for another artist that might actually know what they're talking about.

I completely forgot to talk to Janeen about this video project thing.

Ooooh, my first video blog is coming up soon. Stay tuned!

I'm already on version 2 of my menu, and version 3 seems very close. Although I'll get to five drafts before the end of the day.

Gotta go...

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

2007-11-18T21:41:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving Tasks Completed

Yesterday (11/17)

Went to Farmers Market for eggs, milk, cream, eggnog, cheese, sausage, bread
Emailed Woodbridge Farm about the meager chance of turkey availability and got completely lucky that a turkey buyer had changed plans and one had become up for grabs; made arrangements for pick up on Sunday

Today (11/18)

Made toilet presentable for guests (and nearly gagged in the process, having found hidden disgustingness--and I thought I was so clean!)
Cleaned oven to the best of my ability
Moved my kitchen around a little to accommodate new furniture
Lenny went to IKEA and bought the Bjursta table
Swept the house (my cat lets loose so much hair!)
Mopped downstairs (the Pine-Sol smell made me a little tipsy)
Scrubbed up the kitchen for efficient cooking
Drove to Salem, CT to pick up turkey (a Heritage Bronze with a rich looking dark meat, almost like duck), pork shoulder and 2 lbs of bacon (and dropped an amazing amount of money); added bonus: Evelyn and I got to see Kim (more below)

The Turkey Adventure
Honestly, I usually plan everything, but I was pretty discouraged about finding a turkey that was local, organic, small farm raised--I didn't do the research and work. On a lark I thought I'd give it a shot--so I did a little online searching and the only place that turned up not sold out was Woodbridge Farm, the biodynamic farm that my friend Kim moved away to apprentice at. I figured it was still a long shot--but I emailed anyway and managed to snag a bird that someone else didn't want anymore.

So I made plans to pick it up, bringing Evelyn with me, both because I needed a navigator and she wanted to see Kim, too. I waited for Ev to get out of work and we set out just as the sun started going down--around 4:30pm now in these Daylights Savings weeks (augh--let me just say that we should just get rid of it). The drive up the 95 was fine, but once we left the highway for back roads, the darkness was definitely a little overwhelming, then normalized, as I realized it wasn't all that different from home.

We pulled in and wandered into a garage where we heard voices and there was Kim, talking to Priyanka and Kathy who had also come for a visit. David (I assume) was parceling out proteins. I was lustful at this point, because not only did I snag one of the only heritage turkeys left in the state, I was also picking up bacon and Winter Solstice's pork shoulder.

I was not disappointed. I promise to post a pic of the turkey, because it was beautiful. I only got an 11 pound bird, mostly because I'm only feeding 7-8 people and the sucker was $5 a pound. Yes, let's not discuss the pricing please. Because the earth put this turkey in my path and I am grateful for both being able to serve and eat a bird that I know was well taken care of, even if it was going to be eaten. It's especially special that it comes from the farm that Kim lives and works on. The dark meat on the drumsticks is a color I just find incredibly rich. I was really excited.

The pork shoulder has that layer of skin and fat that makes it a perfect pernil (pork shoulder roasted Puerto Rican style). It's only six pounds, but I'll live with it.

Ah, and two pounds of bacon, some of which will be Lenny's dinner tomorrow night, some of which will be Thanksgiving breakfast (served by French Toast made with Cityseed pecan raisin bread, soaked in Trinity Farms eggnog) and some which will hide out in the freezer until a right time comes along.

My freezer is now stocked with Cedar Meadow Farm chicken, Sankow's Beaver Brook Farm lamb, Four Mile River Farm steaks and sausage and Woodbridge Farm pork (or at least via that farm). I imagine we'll get through the winter.

Kim gave us a tour of the farm, at least what we could see at night. We saw cows (Devon Reds, I believe) that the farm has been raising since the 1700s (the farmhouse dates from back then, too). They had lovely auburn cots. We saw horses, a Peruvian breed. One was named Estrella and she was the mare "who keeps everyone in line," Kim explained.

The chicken coop was the best. A red light illuminated it and we peeked in. There was a whole social thing that Kim explained and they were lovely looking hens and roosters.

We went to Kim's house for tea and then had to head out, unfortunately, back into the gloom, then orangey streetlights of the city. It seemed impossible that we had been at Kim's, out in the country, examining cows, Peeping Tom the chickens, squishing through bloody grass near the day's poultry slaughtering site, seeing the best sky I've seen in a long time.

I may have come a bit late to understanding the whole small farm, local eating, seasonal creativity thing, but I'm glad I came. It connects me to the earth, the Goddess, and makes me a better Pagan, I think. I more spiritual one, anyway, conscious of how my beliefs have a practical application in the world, how I can connect magic to myself.

I leave you with my favorite bit of Woodbridge Farm lore, via Kim:

We take the horn [of the cows] and stuff it with cow manure and bury it for a year. Then we dig it up and make a tea out of it. It takes an hour. You stir it, create a vortex and then break it, then do it the other way. Then we spray it all over the fields, to enrich them.

Sounds like magic, wonderful magic, to me.

I Thought Saturdays Were For Sleeping

2007-11-16T06:43:00.000-05:00

Somehow, it happens every time The Game is in New Haven.

What game?

The only one that matters.

Correction, the only one that matters to Yale and Harvard alumni, as we get respite from our boring/stressful/very adult lives to party like college kids in the Yale Bowl parking lot (oh, right, wasn't planning on going inside the stadium or anything).

This weekend is just about the nuttiest one every two years, when The Game is played at Yale, instead of in Cambridge/Boston (where the tailgate rules are much too strict). Alumni and Harvard students pour into New Haven, visit Leo at Rudy's, eat at Pepe's, fill up the Omni, Holiday Inn and every other hotel in the immediate area, create a parking nightmare, make local merchants very excited, get very drunk, assemble in their college groups (secret society, singing group, cultural centers, college--pick an association and almost every Yale alumni has at least two on their list), throw around big money and make last-minute dinner reservations at any swanky spot in the city almost impossible to get. And that's just Friday (tonight!) night.

Saturday morning you'll see a line outside of the Yankee Doodle, various Nalgenes, Thermoses and fancy liquor canteens shoved into coat pockets and sipped starting at 8am, a traffic jam on the Boulevard and an amazing tailgating scene in the Yale Bowl lot.

And somehow, this weekend is always one of my busiest, with several different commitments pulling me in different directions...

Friday night...

My secret society get together (nope, I'm not going to say anything more about it--duh, it's secret!)
The usual chilling at Rudy's and running into people I haven't seen since they failed to say hi to me at school (and, perchance, someone I may have...ahem...spent a night with)
Going home and sleeping after one of the longest work days of my life (not including overnights, but including strategic planning for Easter Seals Goodwill)
Visiting Lenny's friend Jose to meet his girlfriend, who Lenny and Jose say I will get along with swimmingly)

Saturday...

The Game, obviously, as I inevitably am both drawn and repelled by the idea of seeing old college peeps (and parading my blue collar fiance around, a huge point of pride for me, since everyone else is marrying men that are already married to their work--law, medicine, investment banking, etc.--that's mean, actually, but like my friend Jesse, I do like being provocative)
The Latino alumni breakfast at La Casa Cultural
The after game reception at my Master's House (a Master at Yale College is the person in charge of your college, which is another name for a dorm at Yale, but it has more of a community thing going on--and Master G was one of my favorite administrators at Yale)
My neighbor's daughter's first birthday, some time between 2-6pm
Hitting up the Farmers Market between 9am-1pm for milk (desperate!), cheese (Thanksgiving is coming!) and other important ingredients for the big day (although there is a market on Wednesday, a special one for the holiday)
Taking my friend Evelyn grocery shopping, a commitment I made a week ago (she has no car or food, and this plight just tugs on my heartstrings)
Cleaning my house, as people are actually going to be there for dinner on Thanksgiving
Buying my turkey! I don't have a turkey!
Buying my IKEA table, which I picked out on Monday (it's so cool, it opens up to 5.5 feet, but is a very understated 3 foot square for regular days)

Um...I thought Saturdays were for sleeping!

I have made absolutely no decisions, as of yet. Anyone want to make them for me?

Oh, the photo I took yesterday, the berries on the big huge bush near in my yard.

<---A sample shot from my shoot at Mezcal
Oh, and about my photo shoot at Mezcal Wednesday night, it went well. Janeen ended up coming with me, Lenny stayed home with her daughter K, and I got to shoot with Janeen's Rebel! I swear, I love it. I love, love, love it and I can't possibly wait to get it. I am dreaming of photos and photos and more photos! It just gives a deliciously clear picture.

The mobile studio didn't get fixed, but the clip on lamps worked really well on the wood anyway. I think Ricardo, the owner, was pretty impressed with the whole set up. I don't think he realized he was getting a real professional shoot. He seemed pleased and totally gave me a glass wine, had the kitchen make tinga tostada (shredded chicken, refried beans and a whole mess of stuff on a crispy tortilla) for Janeen and I totally had that shot of tequila in the picture at the end of it. I promise to post the shoot to my Flickr soon, once I decide which shots I actually like. Overall, I'm just pleased that I managed it. And now my first paid shoot is under my belt. Yahoo!

Crap, I have to be at work at 9am (I usually work 10:30am to 6:30pm)...and be productive in a strategic planning meeting! And make a fantastic bento to make everyone jealous.

Okay, bye!

We Built a Mobile Studio!

2007-11-14T06:51:00.000-05:00

Side Note: I wish I could discuss something that is happening at work, but as it is confidential information, I can't. I suppose I just have to say that it's not pleasant (nope, as far as I know, it has nothing to do with my employment status) and has me hugely concerned. In fact, I cried about it a little last night (nope, wasn't PMSing, it was a legitimate cry) and all I can say is that I hope to the Goddess (nay, pray to her) that all will somehow be well and that anything I can do I will be able and knowledgeable enough to do. I'm just asking for some positive thoughts to head my way, to transfer to this situation. I am thankful, though, that where I am in life has put me in a position to at least try to help. And I am thankful for this little whirlwind project we did last night, as it let me focus on something else for a little while.

Mobile Studio in 3 Hours or Less
(<--Mobile studio blueprint; I know it's blurry, but you get the idea and eventually I'll buy a scanner for stuff like this)
I have a photo shoot tonight at a Mexican place. I was supposed to do the shoot Saturday evening, but the restaurant was busy and I didn't know exactly what the owner wanted, so I sat down with him and figured that out, as well as scheduled today's shoot.

Chatting with Janeen, I told her that the conditions were less than ideal for the shoot. So she suggested a mobile studio--something I could set up with clamp lamps and essentially make it look like I wasn't just shooting photos in the kitchen. So while waiting for extremely late people at a training at work yesterday, I doodled a blueprint for my little studio.

The main idea is that I have a frame, built of wood that I can drape fabric over and clip lamps to. I was going to go out and do it alone--hit up Lowe's and figure it out, but once I mentioned it to Lenny, he said to come home first and we'd go out together, once he saw what I wanted. He was terribly grumpy about it, really, but he wanted to help, so I'll skip over the complaining bits (and if I sound like a Londoner or a Dubliner in my posts, it's only because I'm reading Sushi for Beginners by Marian Keyes and she's one of the two so she writes like that--you should hear me around a Southerner or a Texan, I pick up accents quickly, which makes for embarrassing situations).

(<---The assembled mobile studio at work; yes, that's House in the background on the TV)
Originally, I was going to staple Tyvek to the frame, but the only thing they had was a roll a 100 feet long for 45 bucks. And although Janeen said that you couldn't see the words through the front, I could and the last thing I need is a set of photos with the word Tyvek ghosting in the background. I bought a thick white twill curtain instead (I probably could have gotten fabric cheaper somewhere else, but we weren't going to another store last night and it was time sensitive). We wandered around Lowe's for a little bit and got our supplies: two eight foot long pieces of wood, an inch thick and three inches wide, nails, four hinges, clamp lamps and bulbs (75 wattage).

Lenny cut the pieces down to size with a hand saw over at Tom's (2 pieces 24 inches long, ten pieces 12 inches long) and then assembled it in about half an hour, creating three frames (1 was 24x12 inches, the other two were 12x12 inches) and using the hinges to put them together. The hinges are the clincher in this project--I can fold up the frame for portability and I can also change the angle on the sides if something bigger has to fit on it.

The only issue is that the clip on lamps don't set well on the frame, but we're going to use the leftover piece of wood, chop it into three pieces and set them on end (so that the lamps can be clamped onto one inch wide wood, instead of three inch) in the middle on top of each frame, so that the lamps clamp better.

(<---A photo shot within the mobile studio; that's my datebook with bookmark and my Vertigo Tarot guide)
The final result will totally work, although I have to iron the fabric and might also stop off at a fabric store to get a different color or a bigger piece of white fabric. Granted, the photo isn't great, but I was testing. I'm concerned about shadows, but I imagine once we get the lamp thing fixed, it'll be fine.

I was eternally grateful to Lenny for doing the rush job for me. He used to do roofing, so the man knows what to do with a hammer. He uses it like a third hand, really, and it's nice to see my design idea come to fruition, especially since, initially, I think he thought my design was weird. It was probably one of the sweetest things he's done for me, aside from welding my name onto the Ironmaster ship that brings freight into his job at the docks. It's amazing how supportive he is about my photo work. Really, it's my artistic work in general. I love my roughneck.

I'll post photos from the shoot here when I get a chance, as well as let you know how our fixing of the lamp situation goes.

Oooh, wish me luck on my first official paid shoot. I told Lenny he's coming with me and eating some dinner, too, while I hide out in the back.

I'm nervous, but feel much more prepared.

Lasagna + Football + Friends = Comfy, Toasty Sunday

2007-11-12T07:02:00.000-05:00

A chapter in a book I might well never write:

It started with Lenny's weekday desire for lasagna.

With football in full swing (despite the Patriots having a bye week this go around) and the Nextel Cup in its last few races, Sunday afternoons have turned my humble living room into Grand Central Station. Or Kings Cross, if you're a Londoner. We have an adequately large television (not flatscreen or plasma, as I still haven't managed to justify that for Lenny in our finances) and I tend to make large meals.

Sunday mornings start innocuous enough: lazy cartoon watching and cups of coffee at Tom and Fran's. Lenny's usually getting as many chores that he can see out of the way--which involves me being able to skip out on dishes and linen laundry, as well as the golf clubs being schlepped to the basement until spring (ah, the winter cometh slowly, but cometh it does).

I usually start a little later in the day on my chores, which yesterday involved sweeping the house (the toilet got skipped, because I decided to tackle a much bigger project) and organizing paperwork. And by organizing paperwork, I do mean dragging out the filing crates (much easier to move up and down stairs for my convenience), printing up file folder labels and unhiding about four piles of old bills, health insurance notices, 401k updates and the fact that I owe St. Raphael's two payments of similar amounts, when I was hoping it was only one.

Unfortunately, poor Joe (our neighbor) had to sit through the tail end of this organizational Tasmanian Devil routine, but it did get done and that kitchen shelf that was stuffed to the gills with crap is now nice and neat. This was my first move in fixing up the house, as the literal wads of paper were starting to cause undue anxiety (only in my family is mess considered ample reason to have a nervous breakdown). My office, on the other hand, soon to be my temple, is still a rat's nest. A bona fide Packrat's Kingdom. Coming soon to Discovery Channel, as one of the bravest jungle explorers delves into the Amazon rain forest of artistic scavenging.

But I tied up loose ends, swept the house, top to bottom (discovering yet another sign that winter is coming--sand and large salt crystals that have uncrusted from Lenny's work jeans) and got going in the kitchen.

Lenny had been inviting people over all week, claiming lasagna and football as the focal points. He was mostly turned down--not because the people he invited were jerks, but they had overriding responsibilities: sick girlfriends, friends from home visiting or chores around the house. Each rejection was met with disappointment until, sometime on Thursday night I said, "You want me to just make lasagna on Sunday anyway?" He nodded a ferocious yes, so lasagna went on the menu, and just for the extra challenge, Lenny stipulated no ricotta (actually, he hates the stuff).

Saturday night the sauce was made, with tomatoes, a lot of oregano and onions and a full can of tomato paste. I knew that no-boil lasagna noodles needed a thicker sauce, so this was specifically a "baking sauce," with no add-ins (meatballs, sausage, etc.)

With a freshly organized house and Joe over for football (he brought this amazing garlic bread, which I'll probably post as a recipe on Rose's Kitchen), I dug into lasagna assembling. Layers of sauce, mozarella, local ground beef, local beef kielbasa and Italian sausage went into a pan. I had enough leftovers to make a not-fresh-sauce lasagna, so I did it (although it killed me to make it without fresh sauce, as I have been admonished not to use Ragu, ever--I grew up eating Puerto Rican style Italian, and we never bickered about the sauce, so Ragu was fine until I was enlightened).

At some point, Jesse wandered in, and I knew that my local mac 'n' cheese would be on the menu (I almost sacked it, because I would be the only one eating it, and cheating day or not, I did not need to eat half a pound of pasta smothered in cheese). That recipe will be at Rose's Kitchen shortly, and I swear it's the best stuff ever. Totally gourmet mac.

Once things were cooking, I poured myself a glass of wine and did the hanging out on the couch thing. I pretty much ignored the television and the computer and was generally social. And poured myself more wine. Close to four o'clock, Evelyn calls me.

Me (answering the phone): F*!k. I am way too tipsy to pick you up. Jesse, you're picking up Evelyn.

Evelyn: Is he actually going to pick me up this time? [citing a broken promise from a week ago]

Me: (putting her on speakerphone) You tell him that.

Evelyn: Are you actually going to pick me up?

Jesse: Yes. I'll go.

Me: (off speakerphone) He'll go get you.

Evelyn: I get out in fifteen minutes.

So Evelyn joined our party. Tom and Fran have standing invites to our house and we told them to come on over. They were a bit indignant we didn't tell them what time. But what I have found in my house is that I would totally stink at Iron Chef, because I couldn't tell you what time we're eating, normally. When it's ready is my best guess.

And there we sit, stuffed in my house, drinking (re-upped by Tom just when we were running out), chowing on lasagna (or, in Jesse's case, mac 'n' cheese--he's the vegetarian that challenges my cooking, which actually is a good thing) and Joe's excellent garlic bread. Dessert wasn't planned for, but I had cookies left over from a batch I baked a couple weeks ago and they keep amazingly well. Jesse will literally eat my cookies until they're gone. I know what I'm giving him for Solstice.

At some point, I pulled out my matted photos from Citywide Open Studios and doled out pictures. Jesse got all his (including the unshown 8x10) and wanted the sushi shot, too, so I said okay. Evelyn got her pin-up one, which was met with her "I love my legs" and positive comments. My portfolio was pulled out and Evelyn and Jesse both said I could totally sell their prints, if I wanted. Which was good, because I do believe they would sell. Funnily enough, Jesse and Evelyn both admired each others' "sexy" shots--but it wasn't really odd at all, as I do believe those two will eventually consummate their flirtations.

Our Puerto Rico scrapbook (from our trip in December 2004, which is entirely too long ago) came out, as well, from Jesse's prompting that he wanted to see photos of my sisters. He insists he'll sleep with one of them. I insist that I'll break a beer bottle over his head before he does. It made me want to go home and Evelyn ask when she and we would be going. I again dreamed of a vacation with all my friends in one big beach house and vowed that it would happen, somehow.

Jesse was his normal outrageous, shock-value self--I didn't know how that'd go over with Joe, who was pretty reserved, but every obscenity and pornographic comment was met with guffaws. Joe is, after all, a man, and Jesse is what every man misses about his twenties--a promiscuous, partying Puck with plenty of women, Midsummer night or not. He charmed Tom with talk about knives and I still think Fran believes he's a nutjob.

Evelyn really seems to like our informal gatherings and I like having her. It's nice to be someone's family away from home, as so many people (Becky's family, Tom and Fran, the Rudy's regulars) have been that for me and I feel strongly that my doors should be open to anyone who can roll with the strangeness of my "family." Besides, Evelyn and I get to make snarky comments in Spanish and laugh while everyone tries to decipher them.

Joe is always a ball to have around because him and Lenny constantly mull over football and him and I talk shop (kitchens, cooking, tools, recipes). He so super-nice and has Lenny seriously considering Fantasy Football for next season. I think I'd rather have Joe over for Sunday afternoons (that quickly turn into evenings with the darkness coming sooner) than bowl with him in a 9-month league on Fridays, which is how we properly got to know each other. It's a lot easier on our backs, wrists, arms and knees.

Fran took off early, mostly because she can't sit for very long and there was nothing for her to fuss with. Joe works early, so after the game, he went home. Tom can only stay a little while without Fran, but hung around to 20 minutes past "I should be home." Things wound down after The Simpsons, with Jesse taking Evelyn wherever he was taking her (presumably to consume more liquor, as we had quite run out of bad wine and crappy beer, and perhaps consummate that tugging urge).

Lenny and I sat on the couch, drifted into sleep (so I still don't know who won Next Iron Chef, although I'm probably about to read a spoiler in my Google Reader) and then somehow managed to, in an almost sleepwalk, dress the bed and curl up together. I even remembered to wash my face, which normally gets sidestepped for lazy passing out.

It was a delicious evening and not just food-wise. I love sitting back and observing scenes like these in my house: laughter, good food, flirtation, friendly teasing, a few drinks. It makes me feel safe and hospitable and generous, accepted and anxiety-free. For a stable Taurus and a easy-going Cancer, it makes for a perfect homebody evening.

And we weren't even supposed to have company.

Lyrics, Words, Verse, Images Floating In My Mind

2007-11-08T22:03:00.000-05:00

I know that I don't have much to give, but I can open any door.
-Presence of the Lord, as performed on Eric Clapton's Rainbow Concert CD, with Pete Townsend and Steve Winwood

I just pretend "the Lord" is really just that transcendental being. I cannot dismiss the taunt spirituality of this song.

*

Light eyes. Everywhere caught up in light eyes--blue, gray, green.

I've always been a sucker for their eyes.

*

If I could give all my love to you, I could justify myself, but I'm just not coming through, you're a pill to ease the pain of all the stupid things I do, I'm an anchor on the line of a clock that tells the time that is running out on you.
-"Richard Manuel Is Dead," by Counting Crows, via the Live at Heneiken Music Hall album

I heard it this morning while at the gym, where it was sorely out of place, but still twisted in my heart.

*

A sprawl, a scrawl across the sky,
I look up and fall into your eye.
The trickle of her cosmic tear
a tickle in my dreamy ear.
The Fool waved to the moon;
Selene winked and whispered, "Soon."

from my journal, November 6, 2007

*

Manda un mensaje or una senal, mandame tu luz, amor.
(Send a message or a signal, send me your light, my love.)
-"Manda Una Senal," from Mana's Amar es Combatir album

A prayer, in a way. A calling out.

*

Sitting down to tea with the Mad Hatter and March Hare, myself (or rather, my dream-self, Stella), his dream-self (Ashling is the name I've chosen because it means dreams in Celtic or Gaelic, I believe) and the elders of the dream world, Winken, Blinken and Nod. And I mustn't forget the mouse. The Mad Hatter is not so mad. Someone gave him lithium.

The "play" I'm writing might be a comic. Crap.

*

This song is the cross that I bear, bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me, be with me tonight, I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.
"What a Good Boy," by Barenaked Ladies off their 1992 album, Gordon

I used to go to Duke's Men shows at Yale just for the staggering beauty of the three or four minutes of this song sung a capella

*

Bundled up in the softest longjohns, smooth and supple jeans, socks with a slight fuzziness, a sweater with a wide collar, a hat that fits just like my skull beanie from two years ago, a smart black wool peacoat, a white fitted undershirt, with long sleeves that cling just right.

I believe I am refusing to look like a jumbled foreigner for the ninth winter in a row.

*

Do you want to see me crawl across the floor to you? Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back? I'd gladly do it because I don't want to fade away.
"Bell Bottom Blues," on that Rainbow Concert CD again

This song has been played at least nine times in my various drives in the past two days.

*

Lenny as the Norse World Tree--and I am the Hanged Man, Odin, supernaturally surviving many days to understand the runes.

But he's a water sign.

*

You always try to live your life like a book.
A particularly poignant and exasperated observation by a fellow classmate/academic competitor/short-time boyfriend/curly-haired boy in high school

I have worried for years that it is true.

*

I never understood the language you spoke
and so I missed the message you sent.

from my journal, October 15, 2007

*

The Nine of Pentacles in the Vertigo Tarot, with a hand dropping coins, described then an added afterthought: May mean messages.

It always means messages.

*

There is an unexpected...zen-ness...steadiness...to making bento boxes for lunch.

The Japanese, I expect, truly understood the...magic...of daily life.

I think of bonsais and small trickling fountains filled with coins.

*

The new moon is lazy in coming. It pulls on me like gravity.

What happens when the moon leaves Earth's orbit?

"Round Here (You're Always On My Mind)" -Counting Crows

2007-11-07T08:06:00.000-05:00

Things on my mind:

*I'm going on my first real (I think paid) photo shoot for Mezcal, a restaurant that my friend loves and wants me to do up some nice food and drink photos, on Saturday

*I've reached a point with work where I see the cracks in my walls--meaning, my weaknesses are showing up, which I could cry about (I would, normally) or I could process out with my friend Becky, like I did last night on the phone, and figure out how I'm meeting this challenge

*Thanksgiving is coming and my menu is tentative, only, but I must start thinking about it, so I'm thinking turkey (of course, but depending on the guest list, perhaps only a large hunk of braised breast--haha, alliteration and possible dirtiness!), a stuffing with nuts (probably pecans), a pumpkin panna cotta, soup, potatoes in layers with delicious local cheese...mmmmm

*I was vote #9 in Ward 12 at 6:15am yesterday

*Who vandalizes Yule trees?

*I think I want one of those candleholders that has 3-5 spots for votives and instead put 3-5 soaps on it, so I have choices every day of what smell or texture I'd like...
I really want to finish my 2008 datebook soon, so I could put it up at Cafepress and see if there's any takers...and so that I have one for January!

*And maybe designing a few things for Cafepress in general, because my store is empty!

<---*I love this goofy photo of Janeen I took ages ago (I found it in my September Randoms folder); I really must use that fake phone in a photo shoot, or several photo shoots

*Photo series idea: three to five subjects, photographed in the four seasons; I could get started now, or at least soon, to do winter, although if I can squeeze in fall, that'd be great--I'm thinking my friend Kirsten, Becky, Janeen (because she's preggers and how cool would that be), Janeen's daughter, Lenny, Jesse (because he's my contracted model, of course), myself, my neighbors Tom and Fran, Evelyn....whooo, this could be soooooo cool....

*I really want a new coffee table and kitchen table that I can do photo-collage on the top, then varnish, for a lovely personal piece

*Must finally fix dent in car!

*My parents' birthdays are this month; what shall I purchase for two of my favorite people in the world? Then my brother and niece have the nerve to be born in December!

*I joined Planet Fitness down the road (after abandoning my old gym) and have big plans to turn into a lean, strong, mini-Amazon (I promise I'll go tomorrow morning, when my MP3 player is charged and full of good energetic music!)

*This post about VH1's The Shot has my interest in the show perked...

*The Army of Forks and Spoons will be mustering for the first time on December 8th, which is really just a cooking club; we'll start with a trip to Cityseed's market, then hit the grocery store and end up in my kitchen (I'm waiting for cooking ideas, but a nice soup would be lovely, perhaps that panna cotta recipe from Serious Eats, testing gingerbread and sugar holiday cookies)--if you're interested, let me know! It would be lovely to share my kitchen and to get people to share their recipes...

*Since every project needs a logo, I've been doodling in my journal for the Army...will be firing up Photoshop soon...

*Price list for understar services...must make one, must stick to it...

*My friend Jesse, while at the bar (you know which one) on Friday, waxed expansively on how he loved my photography (my first fan, after Lenny, of course!); it made me feel all good inside that I'm starting to get it right...and also promised him he'd be the first subject of my "good camera" I'm getting for Solstice, thanks to Lenny's Christmas bonus

*Ooooh! I have to send the rent check!

Solstice Wish List

2007-11-07T06:28:00.000-05:00

This post is more of a handy guide for my family and perhaps friends who may be so inclined to purchase something in this coming gift-giving season. It is not meant to come across as greedy in any way, but to give people ideas about what I'd like to receive, if they wanted to give. Of course, if any of my wonderful family and close friends were to pop down (or up or sideways) to my house on Winter Solstice (Saturday, December 22 this year) that would be the best present ever. And I would feed you. Copious amounts of yumminess.

But off to my wish list (and some of these would make good presents generally, too):

I have a list of books (mostly fiction, comic and pagan works) and Roswell DVDs (guilty pleasure!) over at my Amazon Wish List
Art prints that I would love to decorate my house are at my deviantArt Wish List or you could buy me a subscription to deviantArt (that would be nice)
My skin so loves just about anything from Voda Soap (in fact, these products are good for anyone and you would be helping out my friend Debbie!)
As my next big project is making my house something I don't just live in, but love existing in, gift certificates to IKEA, Home Depot or Target would be just fine, thank you!
There are a few organizations that I wouldn't mind having a donation made in my name, and they are...drumroll, please...Cityseed (the ones who put together the fabulous farmers markets here in New Haven), the New Haven Independent (an online paper that is pretty comprehensive about what goes on around here) and the Connecticut Food Bank (they feed hungry people and that's always good)
And I love this bento set from Ebay...

Well, well, enough of that...

Aftershock

2007-10-29T11:53:00.000-04:00

I meant to blog a lot last week, about how the exhibit was coming along and all that. I clearly didn't, spending more time on creating it than on writing about it. And by creating it, I mean utilizing every second I wasn't at work (which was a whole other cluster f%ck that I don't really want to talk about--just know that working with kids is emotionally draining and problem-solving issues is a little bit like being a psychologist/social worker/diplomat/Geneva convention moderator/judge/disciplinarian/creative thinking) to do it. I'm talking hours before work (from about 6:30am after I dropped Lenny off at work until 9:30am when I threw together something resembling lunch and launched myself to work) and after (from 6pm to usually 10pm, then 11, then 1:30am as the week went on). To say I dragged myself to the space on Saturday morning is an understatement.

<---This is me in my space. Yes, I hand painted my logo and Janeen and I painted the star*bean logo. We had to primer our wall (it was UGLY) and paint the bulletin board gray (neutral to let our photos pop). I'm bundled up because the building was not heated. Thank Goddess for the sheer volume of people in the building--I think the body heat kept us from frostbite. I ended up with more prints than I could hang, so a few went into my portfolio and some will get hung on my walls--in fact, most of these will get hung on my walls. I'm pretty proud of the Dreams Series--quite a few people really responded to the images. We were sharing a room with W.J. Bies, who was in the New Haven register, and you can see some of the stuff I looked at and learned about for two days at No Signal Images. His wife, Ronnie, was really cool and also on our "coordinator's" poopy list. She took down these hideous, falling apart blinds and apparently this was a cardinal sin. Anyway, Ronnie works in marketing and she thought that I could take a concept like the Dreams Series and commercialize it into customized photo and poetry/song/etc. pieces--like on a commission from someone, such as brides, couples, families, etc. I think this could be lucrative, although commercializing it is a bit of a difficult idea. I've always worked a day job to keep the artist/purist in me happy. But it's something to chew on. She suggested writing parenting and bridal magazines, as well as Oprah--she said I should use the fact that I'm a minority woman. We'll see...

<---This is Janeen by her logo (I whited out her last name for privacy reasons). She had a lot of families talk to her about her photos. She focused on her child and youth photos. I loved "Silly Face" which is her daughter sticking out her tongue and her head turned sideways. So I got the photo at the end of the show.

I also bought some art--two t-shirts, a piece by Liliya Garipova that completely captured me and a pack of postcards featuring the fine art of Jessica Rosario. Liliya was one of the artists I connected with a lot--she uses the Jungian idea of art being a vision and paints archetypes and fairytales and the such like. Her work literally stopped me in my tracks. I poked my head into her room on the first floor and spoke to her husband the first day, but returned the second to talk to her (she was busy when I went the first time). I really wanted to know the price of her stuff, because I was completely captured. I ended up buying The Wise Men Mountain and totally intend to buy Terra-cota if she didn't end up selling it in a couple of weeks. I also loved Independence, The Best of Dreams, The Forth Element and Two in a Boat. I really responded to her work...they look like Tarot cards. Jessica's stuff also really spoke to me, since she distorted her own photographic self-portraits in Photoshop, which, of course, is my tool of trade.

As far as food goes, I made chocolate chip cookies, almond white chocolate chip cookies and sandwichitos, a Puerto Rican little tea sandwich that relies heavily on American ingredients. Only Puerto Ricans would throw canned ham, Cheese Whiz, cream cheese, Goya fancy pimentos, relish and a little milk into a food processor, then spread it on square white Wonderbread, cut off the crusts and cut each sandwich into four dainty triangles. It may sound a little gross, but it's one of those flavors from my childhood--and I could eat a tray full of them. Ohhh...yum. And I ran out of food the first day, so I went back and made another batch of everything. Holy cow. Maybe I should sell holiday baked goods. That I could get on the boat for.

I do have some beef with Artspace, though, as fun as if was to see people I hadn't seen in months, meet new artists and reconnect with Ellen from last year. They didn't set aside any parking for the artists and they were a little pushy about everything. And the building wasn't heated. I mean, come on. It was chilly in there. We were there fourteen plus hours in those two days. You couldn't save some parking for us? Who were the VIPs parking in the front lot anyway? And what would you do if all the artists didn't come? Exactly. So be nice. No need to be mean because we don't have a studio in the city. Some of us are actually poor. Or at least unable to afford house/apartment rent and studio rent. So get a grip and be polite. Not that everyone was unpleasant. But some were.

Although it was nice to see all that work. It's a beautiful thing, really. I'm hoping that I got some exposure and that I can keep up with a few artists I grabbed cards from.

And next year, I'm primering and hanging photos. No painting. Logos can be put on a vinyl banner. And I'm going to keep working all year so I don't have to rush anything. So there. But I'll be there next year. It's just too creative to miss.

Getting back to the real world...
Favorite Quote of the Day: "That's how we roll in the Shire," by Leonard on The Big Bang Theory, dressed as Frodo for a Halloween party.

I haven't figured out what I want to do for Samhain (that's Halloween), but I know that dressing up in a costume and getting wasted is not the right thing. I'm trying to be a proper Pagan and make it special. So I think I'll go to dinner, since none of the Pagan organizations I know are doing anything that particular day. They did their celebrations this past weekend. Now I just have to decide where I want to eat dinner...

I missed the Farmer's Market Saturday and now there's no milk. Humph.

Boston won the World Series. In a sweep. Yuck. Yah, yah, they were the best team. But I have to live with this forever, being the Yankee fan in the Boston-New York couple straight out of Romeo and Juliet. What a funny play that would be...no stealing ideas!

It's getting cold. I wore long johns to take Lenny to work this morning. Sigh.

Hopefully I'll join Planet Fitness down the road soon. My body is unhappy with its lack of activity. And with winter coming, I need to keep it moving or I'll get all creaky and sore from the cold. EEEWWW! Cold!

I have to get back to some writing. I really want to work with the Stella and Ashling play--being concerned with Star and Dreams, those two of my favorite archetypes. Or really, they are each a bunch of intersecting archetypes. I think it could be a beautiful story--if only I could figure out how to tell it.

All right...this post is too long...so I'll talk to you all soon.

Come See Me At Citywide Open Studios!

2007-10-29T07:07:00.000-04:00

This blog post is sticky until Mon, 10/29, so scroll down for updates!

I'm showing photography and photomanipulation work with Janeen's photography. Together we are star*bean. The event info:

Alternative Space at Citywide Open Studios
Saturday, October 27 and Sunday, October 28 from 11am-6pm
Hamden Middle School, 550 Newhall Street, Hamden, CT

We are in room 211, second floor!

Come visit us and check out the best use for a closed-down school I've ever seen. Besides, there's going to be tons and tons of artists there. Come feel cultured! Or at least make us feel special!

Check In

2007-10-24T07:03:00.000-04:00

Of course I'm writing about Citywide Open Studios...
I'm exhausted. Okay, that's such a lie...not falling-over exhausted, but getting there. We've primered our wall, painted the bulletin board gray, and I've started my logo.

We did find something extremely nerve-racking out--all the photographers are in the same section. Which means that our stuff is with pros that have been doing this for years and are selling pieces. The difference between a sell-piece and a show-piece is that you're going to dress the sell-piece in a nice frame and all that. Our show pieces are pretty much going to be in mat board. Sigh. But whatever, because we're just starting out and we have to give ourselves a learning curve to get better. I mean, it's been pretty fun so far.

My big plan is to shut up my inner critic this morning and send everything to the printer. Printer being Wal-Mart.com, of course, since I can't afford digital imaging at the moment. Hopefully, then, when I get home tonight, I can concentrate on printing up tags for my portfolio and pieces. And thinking about food, because, quite honestly, I'm "showing" my food, too, in a way, since I'm also a cook (I'd love to be able to call myself a chef someday, but culinary school is so freaking expensive). I'm thinking I'll plug Cityseed, too, and local eating. I mean, why not? Part of being an artist is having a psuedo-political agenda.

I have to remember to bring a radio to work to tonight. I've become immersed in music lately, which isn't surprising.

This was posted retroactivevly, and it's probably incomplete...regardless...

But I Have A Topic Sentence!

2007-10-22T06:37:00.000-04:00

CWOS: T Minus 6 Days
So, some updates on Janeen and me's showing...

I've been Photoshopping a lot--despite burning my right pointer finger, which, essentially, is how I navigate that mouse on the screen in my little pad on the laptop. My Virtual Memory gets low, I restart and keep going. I'm so close to completing the Dreams series and I'm very, very pleased with it. The poems have morphed, somewhat, to be closer to what I meant to say originally, which is nice.

Oh, yeah...I'm going to put up a sticky blog post about Open Studios...

Janeen and I went to scope out the space (she hadn't seen it yet, although I had). Now, let me explain the little issue with Artspace we now have. So originally, I figured Janeen and I could share a space and the expense. Neither of us had enough stuff to fill one area ourselves--and I thought it would be good to work with someone, that way I wouldn't feel completely insecure. So we signed up for one space as Rose Janeen. When I went to check in last Tuesday, I forgot we were not mentioning our plans (in my defense, I was exhausted) and we got "found out." So now the Artspace rep at Alternative Space wants us to pay for the additional artist. So Janeen goes to deal with it on Friday and they look at her like she's crazy. But when we go to the space yesterday, the woman got all defensive and huffy and said, "No, you have to pay!" Now, I screwed up and we're trying to fix it...but no one is helping! So, hopefully, we can just get it all sorted out, pay an extra $55 and do our show. That's what I get for trying to be sneaky...

We finally made plans and I bought some paint. Outrageous how expensive that stuff is, and I asked for the cheapest they had. I also managed to get paint on my brand new jeans--the only pair that fit me. Correction--my boyfriend dropped a can and it trimmed the bottom edge of my jeans. This is only traumatic if you remember how a) nothing fits me anymore, b) I hate shopping and c) I actually can't wear stained clothes to work. No amount of stain removal products managed to do much to it. Arrgh.

I chose colors in record time--especially for ambivalent and second-guessing me. The Pats game was starting in 45 minutes, so I didn't have much choice. Besides, I'd been staring at our logo colors for days--I was pretty sure that I could handle it.

I'm pretty pleased with our plan for the space. We're not going overboard or anything, but we are committing to the star*bean idea, which I like. And so some history...

Janeen and I are neighbors, so she often would be outside in our communal "bistro" with her husband and baby daughter. We start chatting about photography--I find out she's been taking classes and boom, insta-friends. When Citywide Open Studios popped up this year, I said, what the heck, let's do it. So we've been working together and just bouncing stuff off each other--which is amazing, because so much of my art is created in a vacuum. Becky is my reader for writing and I'm hers, but since we're not close by, we don't get to share our stuff as much (which may change, in a year and some months, but we'll see...). Anyway, I need a name and a logo for everything, so Janeen and I started batting around ideas...and ended up with star*bean.

Star is very obviously me in the partnership and Bean is Janeen's childhood nickname, given to her by her dad (who is very important to her). See, here's the logo I came up with:

So we're using that logo, plus our own individual ones, at our space. Essentially, star*bean is us--as photographers for me, at least. Maybe some writing. There's a writing project in the works, but that's way down the list at the moment (obviously!).

The logo will hopefully go on sweatshirts for Open Studios, since the building is not quite heated...

I get the feeling this post makes little sense...so I'm quitting now and going back to Photoshop, my new lover...

The Citywide Open Studios Journey Begins

2007-10-18T13:38:00.000-04:00

<----There it is, the blank and bizarre space that will be housing Janeen's and my photographs and photomanipulations sometime next week. That is such a lie...our exhibit won't be done until 8:05pm next Friday, and we'll only call it done because that's the deadline. Actually, it'll probably be done at 10:59am on Saturday (the 27th) because we can actually squeeze in there at 9am on exhibit day.

My friend Mike mentioned that I should give out food. I laughed at first, but since there aren't any food vendors at all, it's not a bad idea. So, cookies? Cupcakes? Something really easy, but yummy? And why am I thinking about food when I still have to figure out what the exhibit is going to look like? And how I'm going to stay warm in an unheated school building at the end of October? And how am I going to finish everything in time? And where are we going to sit? And, and, and...

Otherwise...
I'm so glad Manny isn't a Yankee. Not that I don't get his point--there's always next year (and after we lost to the Indians, I've been saying that...), but honestly, someone cares and they probably pay his million-dollar salary.

Food tattoos (at Serious Eats)? Uh-huh. And now I wonder how a mango would look on my ankle...

The New Haven Independent calls it "a parking ticket you want," but I'd rather call it a "Moron Ticket." Honestly, you really think leaving your laptop in plain view in your car is a good idea?

Karen, at the Wet Donkey, hosted a pumpkin party this past weekend. What a yummy idea--with just about any ingredient! Sounds like a potluck plan...

As I'm writing and photomanipulating for CWOS, Neil Gaiman's post about when the fire gets under your creative a$$ keeps me going. Good to know even famous writers have issues.

New Haven is such a hippie town...

Jeffrey Steingarten is such a food snob (but I love him) and he talks hamburgers on A Hamburger Today.

What I'm Working On (Post #350)

2007-10-16T09:13:00.000-04:00

That is the screen, in various layer iterations, that I've been staring at the past two mornings, and a significant chunk of this weekend. And some mornings last week. Yes, the impending Citywide Open Studios is to blame for this current obsession with Photoshopping like a madwoman.

I haven't merge all the layers yet, because I can't decide about certain things: the pink swirly or not, which of the two multiple color and shape layers to use, black and white people or color, the crystalline background all the way in the back or not...the list is endless. I think I hit layer 43 or so this morning and started to wonder why I even do this stuff sometimes. Although, I do have to say that I've made much more headway than the original photo I shot two or three weeks ago.

I don't want to even get into the times I've edited the poem.

This post is also, incidentally, my 350th.

Creeping to Bed

2007-10-12T21:02:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wonder why I do what I do (you know, my day job) and then some days, you realize you're actually good at it...

Lenny traveled to Massachusetts, then Maine and back again. He's eating his mom's sauce right now. And my car is intact (although I need an oil change).

I seriously, seriously need a new winter coat, sweaters and cords (okay, pants). I'm a lazy shopper, so I think I'm going to go ahead and just order stuff from LL Bean. I'm going with some browns. And sizes that fit me. And greens. Mmmmm. Greens.

Hey, I think I know what kind of photographer I want to be. I like up close, intimate shots that are pretty candid. I just want you to see what I see, when I see someone. And since I shoot photos like I write about people (see some of my people essays at the New Haven Diaries or just know me long enough and I'll write about you), I always manage a glimpse of beauty, through the veneer of honesty. At least, I try.

I could tell you about my day, but I don't want to depress myself.

Just when I was relaxing tonight, I remembered that I have to work tomorrow. I need a grilled cheese, with caramelized onions, a touch of honey, on a sourdough boule, made with Pleasant Cow cheese. With butter spread on the bread. Toasted and golden and gooey. Bring me a glass of wine while you're at it.

I've recently become slightly obsessed by the idea of shooting Polaroids.

I really want to shoot some photos tomorrow. Or Sunday.

Bah, sleep.

Ah...Multiple Dimensions...

2007-10-09T22:49:00.000-04:00

I've been missing the gym, recently. I may just go tomorrow morning, if my membership hasn't expired...

Have I ever mentioned that I like Futurama and awful lot, more than The Simpsons (which I love)? I really wish it hadn't gone off the air. Thank you, Adult Swim, for keeping it alive, especially since there are plenty episodes I've never seen. This is the sci-fi fan in me talking.

Never play Cranium with kids who don't know who Jim Carrey is or get table-banging angry when a science question appears. Yes, there is more nitrogen than oxygen in the Earth's atmosphere. No matter how much you want to win.

Comics in Context (at Quick Stop Entertainment) is a Yalie comics lover's dream--literary criticism grade analysis of comics and cartoons, plus other related reviews. And now I can't remember why I haven't read Gaiman's Eternals, or Kirby's Eternals (for contrast and curiosity), either.

I actually spoke about Jungian dream theory in casual conversation with Penny, one of the receptionists at work.

Speaking of Penny, I always loved her book computer on Inspector Gadget.

I have a sudden need for fruit. Perhaps because it was actually chilly today and I can't figure out why I haven't bought more at the Farmers Market, before they're out of season.

I should really go to bed.

This Is What's Up

2007-10-09T08:47:00.000-04:00

Check out understar photography and photomanipulation for two new pieces: Burning Kiss, Smoldering Eye and I Only Wanted To Love You. The latter piece is part of the series The Way I See Him (hosted on Flickr). I really like it and am pretty proud of myself, so feedback, whether confirming or debating that emotion, is welcome.

I made Goat Cheese Risotto, so you didn't have to figure it out. Enjoy the recipe at Rose's Kitchen. Plus, I finally let go of my Chili recipe and made a list of CT local and seasonal eating resources (I have a feeling it's only part 1 of a longer list). Karen made my peach pie recently (scroll to the bottom of the post) over at the Wet Donkey.

I also have started my own Wiki called the understar character universe (hosted by WikiDot). It'll eventually be fleshed out and contain every character I've ever created, mostly for my own organizational purposes.

Coming soon:
More stuff at my photography site
Post about picking up my chickens
More stuff at Twinkle Ink (my writing site)
More sleep?

Updating

2007-10-04T21:51:00.000-04:00

I've been hiding out behind my other blogs. Check out Rose's Kitchen, because maybe you'll come to lunch on Saturday, or make some chili, or finally know exactly what I served at Mabon Dinner.

Although there's nothing there now, there is a new arm of my creative craziness: understar photography and photomanipulation. Keep your eyes peeled, though, because I'm fine-tuning some photos from shoots this weekend and will be posting soon.

understar productions has a new look. And will soon have a sticky blog post on the top.

That's it, because I'm tired and M is for Magic by Neil Gaiman is calling to me.

Hey, Bex...miss you.

Drifting backward...

2007-10-02T23:00:00.000-04:00

...and forward, coalescing into the thematic ribbon of my path.

I hear Tennesse's monologues in my mind, Tom's monologue, Blanche's dreamy, psychotic voice.

I glance at old notebooks, remembering, like a literary device, the repetition of phrases like, "I will do some good with my writing. I'll tell the stories that need to be told."

I remember my ego-centric four year olds, coming to blows over blocks, and I remember my hope that they would outgrow it.

She tears up a little, at a photograph that I saw, then snapped. He's not here right now, but he'll be back.

The larger me, the one that knits, she spoke through me tonight.

I see the Tarot card with the falling coins, the messages that flitter like butterflies, tauntingly dancing on the breeze.

I'm not thinking of leaving this place.

I love when the world takes the time to teach me a gentle lesson, not a slam against the wall in a dark alley, a knife to the back or a jolt that shifts me to a place where I forget to process, forget to grieve, forget to feel the shock.

Generations are like stair steps that do not go up and down, but manage, somehow, to go all around, in orbit around the Kabbalah's numbers, Maiden/Mother/Crone, the Holy Trinity, the Chaste Goddess, the Lascivious Goddess, the philandering God and his folklore-borne children, the sorry, sad confused humans clumsily stumbling through the world--all the archetypes we dream of, Jung says, unraveling not the world around us, but the world inside.

I dream of someone that sees me and can tell me the things deep down inside my crystal ball.

The photo I took of him shows him the way I see him.

Focusing on the ground while my heart soars make me dip--and here I hang, unsure of whether or not an updraft will come along or I'm going to slam into that tree.

Freeze frame.

Blackout.

Oh, Barcelona...

2007-10-02T05:01:00.001-04:00

I've always felt drawn to Barcelona, as opposed to Madrid. I don't know why. But maybe because it's a 2 hour coastal drive to a small town of less than 4500 named Garcia. Maybe it's the food, as this post at Serious Eats pointed out--and made me yearn for it.

I've always been curious about my ancestry, if only because I am a bit of an anomaly in Puerto Rican culture--light-skinned and light-eyed. Puerto Ricans do come in all shapes and colors, all different kinds of hair and eyes. But I never fit anyone preconception of a Puerto Rican (not that I necessarily wanted to) and have had my heritage questioned more than enough times. But in a place where that pretty caramel skin my sister has is top dollar, looking like a "gringa" (white girl) has made my life difficult.

I was more than happy to not fit the street gangsta hoodlum uneducated Puerto Rican stereotype, as I feel that most Puerto Ricans have nothing to do with this, although we hardly show up in Ivy League schools--which is something I did and was proud of, not just because I managed it, but because I was able to educate people that may be running this country in the next 10 to 20 years (and a Yalie, Robert Smuts, is already New Haven Mayor DeStefano's Chief Administrative Officer, and he only graduated a couple years before me) that yes, we do have roads and internet and McDonald's (that epitome of civilization) and no, we don't run around in coconut bras and grass skirts. And if we were ever to become a state, Bush would maybe not have made it into office (oh, what a pipe dream).

But regardless, I wanted to know where we came from. Our family. This light skin is of Spanish descent. At least it better be, because if I really am the product of some illegitimate child of an Irish milkman I'd be a little shocked. But it would explain my interest in Ireland. I don't even know what our last names mean...let's see...

(Spanish and Portuguese) Name of unknown origin, perhaps akin to Basque (h)artz ‘bear’, or son of Garcia (Gerald).

Source: American Surnames. ; Smith, Elsdon C; Genealogical Publishing Company, 1997.

from Search for Ancestors.com

garcia
Spanish (García) and Portuguese: from a medieval personal name of uncertain origin. It is normally found in medieval records in the Latin form Garsea, and may well be of pre-Roman origin, perhaps akin to Basque (h)artz ‘bear’.

Dictionary of American Family Names, Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19-508137-4

from Ancestry.com

There's about a thousand fantastical tangents I can take from these, like "Isn't there a constellation named the Big Bear?" and "There's a Russian god of winter that's a bear." But to be perfectly honest, we're not that close to my father's father's side of the family, but closer to the matriarchs--Abuelas Sanchez and Rodriguez. Some searching turns up:

Sanchez
Spanish (Sánchez): patronymic from the personal name Sancho.

Dictionary of American Family Names, Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19-508137-4

from Ancestry.com

Rodriguez
Spanish (Rodríguez) and Portuguese: patronymic from the personal name Rodrigo.

Dictionary of American Family Names, Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19-508137-4

from Ancestry.com

And nothing about origin. I think I've found myself a quest.

Either way, I'd like to eat tapas in Barcelona. And see this tiny town of Garcia.

And, by the way, collect some family recipes.

7am on a Sunday

2007-09-30T07:14:00.000-04:00

I am up this absurdly early because I have a photo shoot at 9am.

I did one yesterday, too, for my Dreams series. Janeen and Matt posed for me--Matt was really reluctant, but we did get some nifty shots of his tattoos and some cute family shots of Matt, Janeen and their daughter (these weren't really for my poems, but were cute anyway). I used Janeen's Rebel XTI and realized that it's much harder to use than I thought. Much harder. Not that I don't want one, but I clearly have to really understand how to use it. Lighting I understand, but I'm not even used to using a view finder. I set up my shots on my Powershot by looking at my LCD screen. It was a bit of a humbling experience, really. Part of me thinks I'm crazy to show at Citywide Open Studios this year, but I don't give a crap, either. I know I have some good photos and manipulations. It's just a lot of hard work between here and there. Besides, CWOS Alternative Space has a lot to do with being around other artists and pushing yourself to be better and better. So, yeah.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this early, really...

I'm going to go have some tea. My throat is a little scratchy.

Hey! Coinkidink!

2007-09-28T14:29:00.000-04:00

I made Alice Waters' Warm Olives appetizer for Mabon dinner--which I was inspired to make after reading Becky's post about it--and then this lands in my Inbox today, from the New Haven Free Public Library listserv:

Alice Waters
The Art of Simple Food
Sunday, October 7, 2007Talk @ 3.30PM at Battell Chapel
Reception @ 4.45PM at Labyrinth Books

Perhaps more responsible than anyone for the revolution in the way we eat, cook, and think about food, Alice Waters has single-handedly chang[ed] the American palate according to the New York Times. Her simple but inventive dishes focus on a passion for flavor and a reverence for locally produced, seasonal foods.

With an essential repertoire of timeless, approachable recipes chosen to enhance and showcase great ingredients, The Art of Simple Food is an indispensable resource for home cooks. Here you will find Alice's philosophy on everything from stocking your kitchen, to mastering fundamentals and preparing delicious, seasonal inspired meals all year long.

Alice Waters is one of the best-known and most influential American chefs since the 1970s. She is founder and co-owner of Chez Panisse and a champion of locally-grown, fresh ingredients. She is the author of the influential Chez Panisse Cooking and several other Chez Panisse cookbooks. Alice Waters is famous for her Edible Schoolyard program to improve foods and health in public schools.

--

A memory of Lenny: This came to me today, as my mind drifted from editing poetry to my photo shoot tomorrow. At the North Haven Fair, Janeen got a real kick out of Lenny walking up to the ducks (and there were quite a few) and quacking "Aflac!" at them. The thing about Lenny is that he's a strange comic--usually he does or says things because they're funny to him, regardless of whether or not he has an audience. A lot of the time, he was mostly muttering to the ducks. He always gets weird looks, but then he'll turn to a stranger and smile or laugh or say something witty and completely charm them.

I don't know why I thought to post this, but sometimes it's nice to remember why I spend so much time with this guy--not for the paycheck, not because I'm stuck in a rut, not because he buys me things, but because he makes me laugh and a stranger is just a friend he hasn't met yet.

Ah, yes, I'm mushy. My knees are oatmeal.

--

I made Janeen a website this morning. She was pretty touched, but, honestly, it's so much fun to be able to do something for someone that 1) I find wildly entertaining, 2) combines my Photoshop, design and web skills and 3) they appreciate.

I suggest you check it out, because it's pretty good, design-wise: Photo By Janeen

--

Photo shoot tomorrow! I'm doing a couples shoot for some poems I want to illustrate. I'm so so excited, because Janeen said I can use her Digital Rebel XTI. Sweet!

--

Janeen is also coming with me to the Farmer's Market. I totally need to get Lenny more soap, as he loves the natural stuff.

--

Okay, gotta go!

Collecting Knick Knacks for the Shelves in My Brain

2007-09-27T21:19:00.000-04:00

I got an old monkey off my back by...paying off my debt to one of the most beautiful things about our government--the free public library. Becky would be so proud of me. I wrote a check for the missing books and got a brand new card. And promptly checked out:

They have a collection of DVDs. And comics. Not enough Philip K. Dick, but that doesn't surprise me. It's not the Modern Pagan Library, which would include:

Did you know...Dan Clowes (the guy who did the comic Ghost World) caused an administrative leave then resignation in Guilford, CT? Censorship lives (like a many-headed Hydra, it will not die--anyone have a Heracles handy?).

For a touch of spirituality...Tibetan monks are creating a mandala at the Peabody Museum and tomorrow is their last day. Saturday or Sunday, they wipe it away.

My latest crazy obsession leads me to...driving to Ledyard, CT to pick up chickens (dead ones) from Cedar Meadow Farm on Sunday, October 7. These are the ones I was hoping to track down for Mabon dinner, but I'll take them anyway.

I smiled this morning because...I got my hair cut and dyed last night. What do you think (please ignore the weird looks on my face--these were taken early)?

My Farmer's Market List for Saturday: Milk (2 bottles this time), Pleasant Cow cheese, eggplant, 2 Sourdough Boules, Sun Gold tomatoes

I have to...make a cheesy sauce with the rest of the cream in my fridge before it goes bad, which would be a horrible waste.

Lenny and I... are going out to dinner Saturday night because we haven't spent enough time together. He's been working a lot, I've been getting done late (which is my new schedule--10:30am to 6:30pm--which has its pros and cons) and our weekends are generally not so much ours as me running around doing photo shoots, making enough food to feed an army and generally not sitting and nuzzling with my bestest man, my World-Tree.

Lenny is currently...cursing at the Red Sox. Awww.

I am definitely going to...read some of my books tonight.

Tuesday Share Day

2007-09-25T19:24:00.000-04:00

Jiggy, Down, Oops
Yes, these are the crazy things that happen in New Haven:

Actually, that was Evelyn's birthday party, but I love this picture, so I had to share.

For the complete album, you can go to the Evelyn's 24th Birthday album at my Picasa.

And just because I know some of you won't go, here are two of Lenny enjoying the pole (he'll be so mad when he sees I posted these):

Just When the Re-runs Were Starting To Annoy Me...
There's a new House on tonight (Mondays, Fox, 9pm)! I've said it a million times, but he really does remind me of my friend Pat. Big Bang Theory was on last night (CBS, Mondays, 8:30pm) and Lenny and I actually laughed. I like Sheldon's humor--kind of dry, brutally honest, all in cords and an argyle sweater. I'll probably miss the premiere of Bionic Woman tomorrow night (Wednesdays, NBC, 9pm) because I'll be getting my hair cut and dyed dark golden brown. I wish I was up to date on Grey's Anatomy (ABC, Thursdays, 9pm) so I could watch the new season and know what's going on, but Lenny hates that show ("Night time soap opera," grumbles the grumpy grumbling grump). And I'm always happy to watch new Simpsons (Fox, Sundays, 8pm), Family Guy (Fox, Sundays, 9pm) and How I Met Your Mother (CBS, Mondays, 8pm--and who knew Barney had a blog?). My sister highly recommends Heroes (NBC, Mondays, 9pm), but I never watched last season, so I'll have to catch up first (I'm sure that it's out on DVD...oh, look, here it is!). Ooooh...and I really like Chef Ramsay and his Kitchen Nightmares (Fox, Wednesdays, 9pm) show.

Ew...the idiot box has taken me over...

Bits and Pieces
A neat little bit about better choices for junk food
The $1000 pizza that's not a pizza!

A Glass of Red Wine

2007-09-24T07:58:00.000-04:00

I'd like to talk about last night here, but...

Chronologically, I should post some pics from Saturday night's party at Mezcal that celebrated Evelyn's birthday
I really want to post with pictures and I certainly didn't take any--thankfully, Janeen did
I'm still on a bit of an adrenaline rush from it all

And even saying all that, I do want to mention that Mabon dinner was amazing. There were a few hitches, like I completely forgot to email Randolph directions and he didn't come (I feel like a real jerk about that), Janeen freaked about the pumpkin pie, Jesse managed to pass out in my guest room the first 1/2 hour he was here (and eventually roused--or aroused?-- by Evelyn and other disgruntled guests), Kate ran late (but so did the chickens), Lenny was tired from golfing at 8am and Tom and Fran did way too much running around (despite my best intentions).

BUT...the food was good (I'll be posting a culinary report at Rose's Kitchen, complete with all recipes), everyone seemed to enjoy themselves (I hope), the red wine flowed freely, I did my pagan blessing and we ended the night watching the Star Wars episode of Family Guy, which was hilarious.

It was wonderful to have so many people come together and celebrate with me. I just want to thank everyone who came. I felt such joy last night, so much that it runs right into this morning as I washed dishes, swept, wiped and ordered my house back to normalcy. I woke up this morning feeling amazing. I was so happy.

Things I'd Like To Share
Krikko makes a home in New Haven
The Yankees game on Saturday, 9/22

From Here to There (Boredom Fighters)

2007-09-18T21:10:00.000-04:00

The United States Postal Service issued Marvel Comics stamps!

You know you want to buy local peaches and make a pie--and lookit that! I just posted a recipe for peach pie at Rose's Kitchen, per the request of Miss Karen at The Wet Donkey.

Sometimes, I go read stories at Perfect Kismet. It sticks with a few characters and doesn't know what it wants to be yet, but it reminds me of all the things littering my hard drive.

I really need to learn how to use fondant, even it's so I can somehow make something like these.

It would be cool to print up custom gift boxes for Solstice presents--like these.

I think I must make tapas. A lot. So I think I really want Tapas: The Little Dishes of Spain by Penelope Casas.

Not that I need more blogs in my collective, but I was toying with the idea of a fictional blog written by five lovers in a polygamist relationship--in other words, they all sleep with each other. I did a little research and found this listing of fictional blogs. An unfinished monologue that I might base my fictional blog on from my Writely (oops, I mean Google Docs) account.

Why the heck do you have to set aside a day to remind people how important it is to eat together?

Nighty-night.

Honestly, The Sun Came Out

2007-09-15T23:45:00.000-04:00

I wrote this yesterday, about yesterday, but didn't post it until today. So "today" in this post refers to Saturday, 9/15.

God, this morning was miserable and so cloudy that I couldn't tell what time it was. I made peach pie to take with me to Becky's, plus a second for the complex. I have this habit of talking about the food I'm making, a lot like I'll discuss my photo shoots, manipulations and sometimes my writing. But I forget that food is universal and people will be naturally lustful.

Becky came from Boston and the sun started coming out. Okay, not like a miracle or anything, but an extremely happy coincidence since we were planning on walking around the city in one of our "New Haven Days."

We started at Miya's Sushi (now called just Miya, for some reason--and the red star on the handy map above). I wrote about that in a review at Rose's Kitchen.

We ambled to the comics shop (orange star on map) and I bought a surprise for someone, plus Fables Volume #9. I never walk in there without spending anywhere between $40 and $60. I knew what I wanted, though, and I couldn't pass up the surprise, because it's really hard to find.

I dragged Bex to Group W Bench (yellow star on map) and picked up a candle specifically for my Mabon dinner next Sunday. The more I think about it, the more I want to do a few special things. I think pumpkin pie drizzled with dark chocolate is a good idea. Perhaps it'll be a pumpkin-chocolate cheesecake, with a layer of pumpkin and a layer of chocolate cheesecakes. A white chocolate layer in between would be kind of cool, too. If I poured them into each other, slowly, would I get pretty orange, brown and white rings?

I definitely want to roast a couple chickens (pork is an issue for one of the people I invited, so it made my decision easier). A bread stuffing with good bread, sausage and apples might be a good accompaniment. I need a smart vegetable side, because I hate the idea of copping out on the veggies. I have a couple of other entertaining things up my sleeve, but that would just about ruin the charm of surprise. I'm also thinking pretty hard about the prayer, it being my first pagan "before you eat on a holiday" blessing. This is how I am slowly owning my paganism, interpreting it, making decisions about it. I've been awfully passive, in fear of not doing something right, completely missing the point of Neo-paganism, which is that you get to make it up as you go along, doing what feels right.

Anyway, back to New Haven. We wandered into Book Trader (the green star on map) to use their bathroom, and I ran into my favorite ladies: Jenn, Kelly and Anjanine.

I also invited Anjanine to Mabon dinner, mostly because I felt that she would appreciate the gesture. She did, saying, "I'd love to." I introduced her to Becky as someone who had seen "the play where I took my clothes off." And now that I've said that, I have to explain it. I did a set of two monologues as part of a show highlighting two short pieces I wrote, in junior year of college. It was a messy experience for a lot of reasons (playwright or not, don't make out with the director of your show, especially if he's a little weird and you are incapable of making much sense either), but my piece highlighted the adding of a tattoo to my back, in which case, I showed that and only that. It was the last time I acted, thankfully. Either way, I like Anjanine, so I figured this would be a good idea, inviting her.

Bex and I wandered into the newly renovated Atticus (the turquoise star on map) and ordered mocha lattes. She rarely finishes anything she orders, which is so peculiar. We stopped at the stationery shoppe (the blue star on map), mostly because I wanted some ideas for things. We walked over to Audubon (dark blue star on map) and were non-plussed by the September Saturdays event going on there, although I think I got a fairly nice photo there (see left).

We went to York Square--my little legs barely keeping up with Boston Becky--and hit Labyrinth Books (purple star on map); I love the name--it brings up images of Bowie, retreats and delicious pronunciation), to see my friend Kate. She, unfortunately, was sick, but Miya (I don't know if this is how you spell her name, but it's pronounced MY-YA, while the restaurant we went to is pronounced MEE-YA) was there and I am always drawn by her prettiness. I have little crushes on all my bookstore girls and she's no exception. There's something about the books being around them all day that must soak into them. And since I've a passionate book lover (I've been known to be caught in compromising positions with Philip K. Dick novels, comic books and introspective storytelling, particularly in back alleys and my shower), their obvious love of books is appealing. You get built-in intellectual with a bookstore girl.

I ended up buying Jorge Luis Borges' The Book of Imaginary Beings, which I spotted at Atticus, but I chose to buy at Labyrinth. It reminds me of Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. I'll let you know how it is. Unfortunately and shamefully, I bought it in English. My brother-in-law will kill me.

We headed to Becky's house for dinner after that. I really like Becky's family, probably because I know them and I've been in Becky's life long enough for them to know me.

I had lasagna and chicken sausage (this was really good), bread (oooooh, how I love a good slice of crusty-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside bread), salad (mmmm, olive oil and vinegar, a classic dressing) and I topped it off with the peach pie I made. The pie, by the way, was really good.

It was a terribly nice day, but I'm exhausted. I am sleeping in tomorrow! Don't call me early, please.

---

I've been watching Top Chef on Bravo, and I've decided I like Dale. And Sara M. Casey is all right, but I have to see a little more consistency from her. But Dale is cute. He's also gay, which I discovered by reading Cosmo Marius' Blog. I really must have missed something when I was watching it. I just really like his red hair. And he's attractive, with a nice behind. Just thought I'd mention it.

---

My sister and brother-in-law have posted some videos of my niece on YouTube. My favorite is this one where she dances to the ABC song with a toy. Notice how she only says the letter O periodically. Super-cute.

---

I did my first tarot reading in a long time last night. I think it went well. I would have liked to have been a little bit more focused, but I think the questioner found their answer.

---

You know, I didn't read Margene's Blog during this entire season of Big Love. Which is now over, entirely too quickly. You know, just when I was back to the routine of it.

Yawn

2007-09-13T21:51:00.000-04:00

Orson Scott Card (one of my favorite writers) has written a neat little analysis of Severus Snape, before the seventh book was published, entitled Who Is Snape?

I should really be sleeping.

Mini-Skirts and Oompa Loompas (Short Things)

2007-09-11T23:29:00.000-04:00

The autumnal equinox is at around 5:51am. I wish it was pm and make everyone toast at dinner.

Speaking of Mabon (same thing as the equinox, but easier to type and with a mystical boom in the last syllable), I'm thinking about the menu for dinner. Because I am having a dinner. I just have to remember to invite everyone. I'll need to track down a few local made things, like wine (that actually probably won't be very hard), poultry or pork, flour, butter. I want to make a peach cobbler, a veggie casserole, bread or rolls, a roasted chicken or marinaded pork loin, a pumpkin soup (I love pumpkin!), maybe pasties, because they're good. I just want a very fresh, earthy menu. I'll probably change it a few times.

I know Neil Gaiman posted this on his blog today, but for those of you that don't read it, here's The Trouble with Tribbles by Edward Gorey. And speaking of Gorey, my friend Craig (who also tends bar at Rudy's) writes these Little Nell poems that totally remind me of Edward.

I worked until 9:15pm tonight. Seriously. I'm tired, but enjoying this here glass of wine.

How come public school closes for Rosh Hashanah, Christmas and the high farming season and not for pagan holidays like Samhain (that's Halloween)? Could I actually get those days off if I made a stink of discrimination? I wouldn't, but I bet I could.

There's a new moon tonight and boy, can I feel it far away, unlit and almost empty of power. Funny how the moon is just a reflection of sunlight. There's something there but I'm too tired to care.

Night, lovies.

Oh, right, The Spy in the House of Love photo shoot won't be available online. It's a long story, but what it's really about is respecting people's privacy, including their homes. I didn't do anything terrible, but I do want to be respectful. Don't worry, I'll get a similar shoot somewhere.

Okay, now, for real, sleep.

Starry Saltwater

The Move is Now Permanent

Nothing Really New--So That Means Changes

Short Rocket Bursts

Sustainability

Nutty Little Idea

Trio of Days

Head Down

Wear and Tear

Memory Dive

In PR

Blogging from JFK

Been Meaning To...

I'm Here! I Swear! (Zine, B-Day, Comic Con, etc.)

Now, That's a Weekend

Still Plastic Wrapped

I Love the New

Snakeskin

Two More Poems

I'm April's Fool

LIVE! (+Skate Lessons)

Categories

Peculiar

Tipsy Math

Everything's just wonderful...

Hey!

Parade Day 2008

American Gods

It's all in the cards...

Surrender

Ha-ha! It only took 5 days...

A Quickie

What do you think?

Show and Tell

Of Course It Snows

The Hermit's Heart's on Fire

Show and Tell

Well, Coincidence?

2 Excerpts

I Send My Love...

A Post in Pictures

It's Just February

I'm Not a Complete Hermit

Yup, the moon is still in orbit

Dancing on the edge of a quarter...

The Moon Wanes, The Mind Drains

Spring Training?

Stretching Like a Cat for 2 Days

Thank You Blockbuster Man!

I Want to Paint My Kitchen Wall With Chalkboard Paint

Visiting Kim at Woodbridge Farm

Heroes and Me

Assortment (Like a Chocolate Box)

Quotes From Media I'm Ingesting (+Other Stuff)

Lists

Uh-huh, It's a New Year

Our Christmas (or Overeating)

Whew!

My Body as Canvas (I Got Tattooed Again)

Still Baking

Moon Signs

I'm Not Dead

Paulo Coelho Speaks Truth

Books

Charm Bracelet (It's a Metaphor)

Why I Don't Celebrate Christmas (But Still Give Gifts)

Happy Attempt

New Photos at Flickr (+ Notes)

Getting the Stink Blowed Off'n Us

The Day After...

Thanksgiving Love

Crumbs (Garlic and Herb Bread Ones, Please)

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

I Thought Saturdays Were For Sleeping

We Built a Mobile Studio!

Lasagna + Football + Friends = Comfy, Toasty Sunday

Lyrics, Words, Verse, Images Floating In My Mind

"Round Here (You're Always On My Mind)" -Counting Crows

Solstice Wish List

Aftershock